This was written, this past July...it was editted to protect the innocent.
Today
Today has been a trying day
Many things have come to a head
It appears as though my work is insufficient to meet the redonkulous schedule
I would hazard a guess that my replacements are being brought in
It is very frustrating that much can't be done to improve progress and that the dates that are given appear to only be best guess and totally abandonable by all whatever the reason
You make the deals but a word and a handshake no longer mean shit
My wife loves me
My son is the bomb
I am flying out to the middle of nowhere to be verbally berrated for that which I cannot change or control
I long for a simpler life
One if less stress
One with Less physical restrictions
I long to ride my mountain bike
To be transported to another world
To forget the shackles of his materialistic society
To recommune with nature
To live life rather than bear thru it
I wish I could be stronger yet long to be weak
The horizon is remarkably beautiful
A quiet beauty roaring above the droning of this pollution spewing beast
I wonder what is next
What will we become
Where wil we go
What will we do
Sometimes I feel the crushing of loneliness
The desire for comfort
The want to belong, to be accepted and to find my reason
My acceptance of working to make money so I can give it away has fled
No more
No more will I be a pawn, no longer will I sell this precious time doing busiwork that has no meaning, no cause, no end
There is more much more to be had much more to live for
There need be ways to do better
To live a life I am proud of
To own a career that inspires
That breathes passion
That isn't work but rather a will
There is so much to miss out on
It is time for a change
It is time to read more
A time to grow relationships
To find my place
To fight my demons
To slay my fears
A time for rebirth
I wonder
I wonder what to do
Who I am
Who I see in the mirror
How to return a fire to my eyes
How to find balance
How to renew health
How to stop the madness
How to accept my weakness
How to cry
How to long
How to see past the past, past the present
How to step boldly into the future
The seat next to me is empty
There is the good of this, More room for selfishness
There is the bad, I sit alone
Our finances worry me, Our spending, Oh our spending.
I must find a way to reduce my commercialism
I must stop procrastinating
It's time for a change
Not just spare change
Real change
