today had a rough start... alittle someone didn't want to sleep much last night and while i didn't get up, the sleep quality was less than ideal. I slept through the alarm and skipped out on the morning trek to the basement to ride the rollers. Did the usual routine, banana, coffee, Bible, CH Spurgeon, coffee, then email. Open email to find out that i'm a winner!!!! know i know what you're thinking, "no this wasn't some spammer from nigeria." I won free books! Last friday i entered into the usual free-stuff friday at www.challies.com and today i find out that i won. This is a huge blessing and providence. I have been of a dichotomous mind of late and this offering should help.
So excited...
if you're like me and you like free stuff or you like books or better yet free books, then head on over here
http://www.challies.com/giveaways/free-stuff-fridays-148
Cheers!
Friday, March 30, 2012
Friday, November 11, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Beauty: Schizophrenia as Poetry
The opening session of PSYCH 101 had Dr. Smith with his the class of 150 fresh-blooded freshman, listening to 6 written passages (the 6 courageous souls should be commended as some of them were outright tonguetwisters), trying to evaluate unaided the origin of each. After once through the class was asked to give their impressions. Answers varied greatly from modern poets, ancient philosophers and everyone in between. He then enlightened us that 3 of the passages were from modern poets, while the other 3 were from a man who was institutionalized for schizophrenia. He invited us to listen again and try to decode which were from which source. Knowledge that there were only 2 possible sources did not make this task one bit easier. As part of this class we are to participate in an online forum, discussion, questioning, evaluating, critiquing and even outright disagreeing with that which we are presented or read in our text.
The exercise brought me to this revelation, although only so two days later early in the morning after a great Friday night with some new brothers and sisters.
Beauty: Schizophrenia as Poetry
Who could have thought that the line between poetry and a mind in utter chaos could be so fine? Schizophrenia is a terribly complex disease of the mind, which strikes with little warning, and yet it, if only to the untrained ear, can sound with all the beauty, eloquence and marvel of poetry.
The A.D.A.M Medical encyclopedia defines schizophrenia as a complex mental disorder that makes it difficult to:
• Tell the difference between real and unreal experiences
• Think logically
• Have normal emotional responses,
• Behave normally in social situations
This all makes sense as poetry is about beauty, emotion and life. Poetry while it has its devices; is free from many of the constraints of much of the other types of acceptable literature. Poetry, to me, is a response to the world, a response to one's surroundings, one's emotions, one's passions and desires. Poetry is a window, not as words into the mind, but rather into the soul of one's being. Poetry isn't about logic, normal behavior, social acceptance, controlled emotion or even staying in a present reality. Poetry is more than just the words, as those with schizophrenia are more than just the disease. Poetry is unconstrained beauty in words and schizophrenia is a mind not aware of the pressures of society to achieve perfection, to be better, to jump higher, to run faster and to earn more.
Beauty is a harder concept to grasp than one would think. Beauty, not unlike poetry, is not objective but rather terribly subjective. What one considers pure radiance, another thinks as absolute rubbish, and another still surmises it as just mediocre at best and while schizophrenia is horribly shunned in our society due to our set of societal norms it doesn’t belittle the beauty that is the person with schizophrenia. We seen a brief glimpse of that beauty during this exercise for which I am grateful. We must remember to separate the person from the disease; we all live, we all die, we all carry the same intrinsic value; we are all created beautiful.
The exercise brought me to this revelation, although only so two days later early in the morning after a great Friday night with some new brothers and sisters.
Beauty: Schizophrenia as Poetry
Who could have thought that the line between poetry and a mind in utter chaos could be so fine? Schizophrenia is a terribly complex disease of the mind, which strikes with little warning, and yet it, if only to the untrained ear, can sound with all the beauty, eloquence and marvel of poetry.
The A.D.A.M Medical encyclopedia defines schizophrenia as a complex mental disorder that makes it difficult to:
• Tell the difference between real and unreal experiences
• Think logically
• Have normal emotional responses,
• Behave normally in social situations
This all makes sense as poetry is about beauty, emotion and life. Poetry while it has its devices; is free from many of the constraints of much of the other types of acceptable literature. Poetry, to me, is a response to the world, a response to one's surroundings, one's emotions, one's passions and desires. Poetry is a window, not as words into the mind, but rather into the soul of one's being. Poetry isn't about logic, normal behavior, social acceptance, controlled emotion or even staying in a present reality. Poetry is more than just the words, as those with schizophrenia are more than just the disease. Poetry is unconstrained beauty in words and schizophrenia is a mind not aware of the pressures of society to achieve perfection, to be better, to jump higher, to run faster and to earn more.
Beauty is a harder concept to grasp than one would think. Beauty, not unlike poetry, is not objective but rather terribly subjective. What one considers pure radiance, another thinks as absolute rubbish, and another still surmises it as just mediocre at best and while schizophrenia is horribly shunned in our society due to our set of societal norms it doesn’t belittle the beauty that is the person with schizophrenia. We seen a brief glimpse of that beauty during this exercise for which I am grateful. We must remember to separate the person from the disease; we all live, we all die, we all carry the same intrinsic value; we are all created beautiful.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Writing...the good, the bad, and what i write
Today was a pretty easy day, PSYCH 101 where we were asked to differentiate between 6 oral passages; 3 from a schizophrenic patient and 3 from "modern" poets. Easy right, well not quite so. The distinction between poetic and neurotic is seemingly as fine a line as that between confidence and arrogance.
Psych 101 was followed closely by ENG 101 - writing for academia or something of the like. This is the course for those who have in the past, distant or near, have already been to post-secondary education. As i am a illustrious graduate and distinguished alumni of Mohawk College (Slowhawk Cottage) I am not allowed to take the Global Issues class that all other newbies are required.
First off, the class size was far more manageable than that of pysch, or chem or bio for that matter, all of which have 130 plus plus in them. ENG 101 had about 30. The prof, a "mad woman of the attic" by her own admission, went through the first day rigamarole of rules and etiquette and all that jazz that we would be required to live up to for the next 4 months or so. But unlike the other 4 classes, she actually made us do work! Incredulous i know. This lovely woman, was passionate and i had a front row seat to the action, mostly due to the fact that all the freshman students seem to arrive to their classes redonkulously early. Keeners humph.
The first assignment was a 3 minute drill to free write to the question, "why write?" She then asked if anyone would be willing to share. Completely out of my character (very introverted, don't like to read aloud), i freely (well no one else was forthcoming) offered my response. It was well received with something to the effect of a "wow" from her to which i responded, "I'm old". She then asked me to read it again so she could pick it apart, all this was done in a loving manner, one that was extremely building and uplifting. Sometimes it pays to stick your head out, as the guillotine isn't always looming to strike.
We then ended with a "what is good writing? and how does that label apply to you?" question to respond to for submission no less all in 10 minutes...i could have probably wrote on it for a little longer but was generally pleased in my thoughts and the order in which they came out.
Nothing better for a procrastinator than a very tight deadline.
Psych 101 was followed closely by ENG 101 - writing for academia or something of the like. This is the course for those who have in the past, distant or near, have already been to post-secondary education. As i am a illustrious graduate and distinguished alumni of Mohawk College (Slowhawk Cottage) I am not allowed to take the Global Issues class that all other newbies are required.
First off, the class size was far more manageable than that of pysch, or chem or bio for that matter, all of which have 130 plus plus in them. ENG 101 had about 30. The prof, a "mad woman of the attic" by her own admission, went through the first day rigamarole of rules and etiquette and all that jazz that we would be required to live up to for the next 4 months or so. But unlike the other 4 classes, she actually made us do work! Incredulous i know. This lovely woman, was passionate and i had a front row seat to the action, mostly due to the fact that all the freshman students seem to arrive to their classes redonkulously early. Keeners humph.
The first assignment was a 3 minute drill to free write to the question, "why write?" She then asked if anyone would be willing to share. Completely out of my character (very introverted, don't like to read aloud), i freely (well no one else was forthcoming) offered my response. It was well received with something to the effect of a "wow" from her to which i responded, "I'm old". She then asked me to read it again so she could pick it apart, all this was done in a loving manner, one that was extremely building and uplifting. Sometimes it pays to stick your head out, as the guillotine isn't always looming to strike.
We then ended with a "what is good writing? and how does that label apply to you?" question to respond to for submission no less all in 10 minutes...i could have probably wrote on it for a little longer but was generally pleased in my thoughts and the order in which they came out.
Nothing better for a procrastinator than a very tight deadline.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
A new day, a new dawn
Today marked the beginning of a new start, having given notice to my past employer some 3 months ago, selling the house, being homeless (or rather without our own house) for 3 weeks, buying a house sight unseen, carting all our worldly crap from onterrible to said house in PEI, and having the last 2 weeks of stay-cation at the new home; today it finally happened.
Today was my first day of school!
My first day of classes at least, i didn't learn much of anything, only that Biology, Chemistry and Foods all in one day is going to be a lot of work, not that i am adverse to work or so much science but it may become a lot. If nothing else it's alot of paper to drag around, well in excess of 4000 pages of text.
Now i know what you are saying, "hey, where's the first day back to school photo?"
Well i didn't take one, that will have to wait until next year or next degree.
I was feeling really anxious about this all last night as i am much older than i look, although younger than i feel. But thanks to a strange series of events, i had a restful night's sleep.
Upon arrival to PEI i pretty much straight away volunteered to take the church youth to Nova Scotia on a "rally". Had an amazing time, and expended far more energy than i had, and received far less sleep than i wanted or needed. Came back right bagged.
On that rally, i had a real God moment, now this is kinda new to me, but the coincidence of falling behind in my morning devotions with all the chaos of moving other lame excuses and whatnot.
But the first moment, first morning of the rally with the overarching theme of WHO.AM.I where the text of my devo was 1 Cor 3:23, " You are Christ's". Okay now that's the short answer and although not one i am seriously struggling with at present, not to say that struggle didn't happen in the not so distant past, nor to minimize the doubt and neglect of owning up to that title of ownership. It was a real confirmation that i was meant to be at the rally, to be there and to be present with the youth.
This morning after much anxiety, more gold from God, via his servant CH Spurgeon who expounded, albeit briefly, on the text of Isaiah 41:14, "'I myself will help you,' declares the Lord." This reminded me of a quote for Tim Keller: "when we worry we're saying, 'I know the way my life is supposed to go; and God's not getting it right!'"
The Lord will provide for all my needs, he knows all the is required and has sufficiency to fulfill each and every need. there is not a thing, need or worry that it is out of his realm of expertise in fulfilling. He who gave us his son as the ultimate sacrifice of atonement is sufficient to give us all that which we require in this decaying world of temporal needs.
God’s Everlasting Love
31What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be[h] against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised— who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.
Today, was a good day. It had its hiccups and challenges, but it was good.
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
Today was my first day of school!
My first day of classes at least, i didn't learn much of anything, only that Biology, Chemistry and Foods all in one day is going to be a lot of work, not that i am adverse to work or so much science but it may become a lot. If nothing else it's alot of paper to drag around, well in excess of 4000 pages of text.
Now i know what you are saying, "hey, where's the first day back to school photo?"
Well i didn't take one, that will have to wait until next year or next degree.
I was feeling really anxious about this all last night as i am much older than i look, although younger than i feel. But thanks to a strange series of events, i had a restful night's sleep.
Upon arrival to PEI i pretty much straight away volunteered to take the church youth to Nova Scotia on a "rally". Had an amazing time, and expended far more energy than i had, and received far less sleep than i wanted or needed. Came back right bagged.
On that rally, i had a real God moment, now this is kinda new to me, but the coincidence of falling behind in my morning devotions with all the chaos of moving other lame excuses and whatnot.
But the first moment, first morning of the rally with the overarching theme of WHO.AM.I where the text of my devo was 1 Cor 3:23, " You are Christ's". Okay now that's the short answer and although not one i am seriously struggling with at present, not to say that struggle didn't happen in the not so distant past, nor to minimize the doubt and neglect of owning up to that title of ownership. It was a real confirmation that i was meant to be at the rally, to be there and to be present with the youth.
This morning after much anxiety, more gold from God, via his servant CH Spurgeon who expounded, albeit briefly, on the text of Isaiah 41:14, "'I myself will help you,' declares the Lord." This reminded me of a quote for Tim Keller: "when we worry we're saying, 'I know the way my life is supposed to go; and God's not getting it right!'"
The Lord will provide for all my needs, he knows all the is required and has sufficiency to fulfill each and every need. there is not a thing, need or worry that it is out of his realm of expertise in fulfilling. He who gave us his son as the ultimate sacrifice of atonement is sufficient to give us all that which we require in this decaying world of temporal needs.
God’s Everlasting Love
31What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be[h] against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised— who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.
Today, was a good day. It had its hiccups and challenges, but it was good.
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Half way there...
...lots of changes going on in our family. We had an ultrasound last week and are happy to report that God is blessing us with a, as the medical community puts it, "normal" child.
Thanks to the Author and Creator of life.
![]()
Yes, we're expecting.
We're due in November
No, we don't know the gender.
No, you can't touch my belly.
Thanks to the Author and Creator of life.
We're due in November
No, we don't know the gender.
No, you can't touch my belly.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
What is Just?
Justice is a strange thing in that everyone believes that they are just in their actions. Most no one believes they act in an unjust manner. Each and every man can justify their seemingly ill conceived response based on some thing, occurrence or past tragedy.
Justice is tricky in this day and age as it has been watered down, like bad scotch, to make it increasingly more palatable to the masses.
True justice is that which treats every human, as of equal value. This really should be easy, but our culture seems to have forgotten this and replaced it with, get what you can, trample who you need to and build your empire so that your future and those of your lineage will have security.
Discernment on this issue is more tricky than I would like it to be, it seems so obvious, yet the call to go against the cultural norm is a hard one to take up.
I offer you this story from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 12 from the ESV
I understand the first half pretty well, be ready. But questions, not seen before begin to rise, am I the thief? Have I beat the master's servants? Am I drunk on desire, material wealth that is not mine, but that which I have been entrusted over to steward generously and justly.
Now, I never before saw myself beating the servants. But I question it now.
We (Team Awesome, TnT and C-Fresh) recently, went on a vacation with another couple to the Chicago area. The boys attended the TGC11 conference, which was extremely edifying. We drove there, the ladies and little men, stayed at a swanky resort in Lake Geneva, which we got at a cut-rate deal. The guys stayed with some great friends in the "Boystown" area Chicago. I felt really good about how we were doing this whole trip on the cheap, I'm dutch after-all so spending less money is like a game, a game worth winning.
While we were away, we entrusted our pooch to some friends. The day before the conference was to begin we received a phone call, said pooch was at the vet, vomiting up blood, a turkey neck (we raw feed) lodged in her oesophagus right before the stomach. As many of you know vet's are not cheap, vet's I believe are predator's, much like real estate agents and car salesman, who prey on your emotion's for maximum monetary outcome. So long story short, by the time of the phone call we were in for about 1G, options were, 1 to refer her to a hospital for scope and surgery for 5-6Gs with a 50% positive outcome, or 2, to allow this vet to call in another and try to force it through for about 2Gs.
We cried. T recalled how she made fun of me for how I specifically went outside to say goodbye to Monster before we left, to give her a hug. Yes, she's just a dog, but for the last 2 years she has been family. T regretted that she hadn't done the same now. After some quick deliberation, we concluded that we would go for option 2 and should the obstruction not be removable, Monster would simply not be woken up. We cried some more. Then we waited. It's hard to be so far from the action yet held in such suspense.
We would say that "it is only money," but really it's not, it's God's money! I struggle to justify whether it was well stewarded. To spend 2Gs in an attempt to keep a dog alive. A dog. Our dog. It's not only money, it's a lot of money. Is it money that could have been better spent? Undoubtedly. I am not just.
Last night I concluded reading Generous Justice by Dr Timothy Keller. All things said, Tim Keller's writing is easy to read, easy to comprehend, yet hard to live out. He has a style which to me strikes so deep at the heart it's hard to walk away unchanged.
My wife knowing I had just finished reading it asked, "What does it make you want to do?"
I responded, "Can't i just read it?!"
No, I can't just read it. It makes me want to do many things, but I think the larger question would be "What does it make you NEED to do?"
I need to stop beating the poor, the widow and the immigrant. I need to steward the abundance I(we) have been given with generosity and integrity. I need to live by faith.
At this time of year, it is a great reminder that God hate injustice, He deplores our sinful desires. Yet, He so wants relationship with me, you, us; that He sent His Son, from the incomprehensible riches of heaven to the filth of a stable in rural Bethlehem some 2000 years ago to be swaddled in rags at birth, to live the life we could not live, to die the death we could not die, to pay the ransom for our sin on the cursed cross, to lift the curse of Hell by conquering death and raising us to life, a life of abundance, a life with God.
Praise be to Him, and Him alone. Him who's sacrificial love makes me long to seek that which is just.
Seek Justice. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly.
Justice is tricky in this day and age as it has been watered down, like bad scotch, to make it increasingly more palatable to the masses.
True justice is that which treats every human, as of equal value. This really should be easy, but our culture seems to have forgotten this and replaced it with, get what you can, trample who you need to and build your empire so that your future and those of your lineage will have security.
Discernment on this issue is more tricky than I would like it to be, it seems so obvious, yet the call to go against the cultural norm is a hard one to take up.
I offer you this story from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 12 from the ESV
You Must Be Ready - Luke 12 (ESV)
35 "Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning, 36and be like men who are waiting for their master to come home from the wedding feast, so that they may open the door to him at once when he comes and knocks. 37 Blessed are those servants whom the master finds awake when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will dress himself for service and have them recline at table, and he will come and serve them. 38If he comes in the second watch, or in the third, and finds them awake, blessed are those servants! 39 But know this, that if the master of the house had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have left his house to be broken into. 40You also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect." 41Peter said, "Lord, are you telling this parable for us or for all?" 42And the Lord said, "Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom his master will set over his household, to give them their portion of food at the proper time? 43 Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. 44Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions. 45But if that servant says to himself, 'My master is delayed in coming,' and begins to beat the male and female servants, and to eat and drink and get drunk, 46the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know, and will cut him in pieces and put him with the unfaithful. 47 And that servant who knew his master’s will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating. 48 But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.
I understand the first half pretty well, be ready. But questions, not seen before begin to rise, am I the thief? Have I beat the master's servants? Am I drunk on desire, material wealth that is not mine, but that which I have been entrusted over to steward generously and justly.
Now, I never before saw myself beating the servants. But I question it now.
We (Team Awesome, TnT and C-Fresh) recently, went on a vacation with another couple to the Chicago area. The boys attended the TGC11 conference, which was extremely edifying. We drove there, the ladies and little men, stayed at a swanky resort in Lake Geneva, which we got at a cut-rate deal. The guys stayed with some great friends in the "Boystown" area Chicago. I felt really good about how we were doing this whole trip on the cheap, I'm dutch after-all so spending less money is like a game, a game worth winning.
While we were away, we entrusted our pooch to some friends. The day before the conference was to begin we received a phone call, said pooch was at the vet, vomiting up blood, a turkey neck (we raw feed) lodged in her oesophagus right before the stomach. As many of you know vet's are not cheap, vet's I believe are predator's, much like real estate agents and car salesman, who prey on your emotion's for maximum monetary outcome. So long story short, by the time of the phone call we were in for about 1G, options were, 1 to refer her to a hospital for scope and surgery for 5-6Gs with a 50% positive outcome, or 2, to allow this vet to call in another and try to force it through for about 2Gs.
We cried. T recalled how she made fun of me for how I specifically went outside to say goodbye to Monster before we left, to give her a hug. Yes, she's just a dog, but for the last 2 years she has been family. T regretted that she hadn't done the same now. After some quick deliberation, we concluded that we would go for option 2 and should the obstruction not be removable, Monster would simply not be woken up. We cried some more. Then we waited. It's hard to be so far from the action yet held in such suspense.
We would say that "it is only money," but really it's not, it's God's money! I struggle to justify whether it was well stewarded. To spend 2Gs in an attempt to keep a dog alive. A dog. Our dog. It's not only money, it's a lot of money. Is it money that could have been better spent? Undoubtedly. I am not just.
Last night I concluded reading Generous Justice by Dr Timothy Keller. All things said, Tim Keller's writing is easy to read, easy to comprehend, yet hard to live out. He has a style which to me strikes so deep at the heart it's hard to walk away unchanged.
My wife knowing I had just finished reading it asked, "What does it make you want to do?"
I responded, "Can't i just read it?!"
No, I can't just read it. It makes me want to do many things, but I think the larger question would be "What does it make you NEED to do?"
I need to stop beating the poor, the widow and the immigrant. I need to steward the abundance I(we) have been given with generosity and integrity. I need to live by faith.
The Righteous Shall Live by Faith - Galatians 3
10For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, "Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law, and do them." 11Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for "The righteous shall live by faith." 12But the law is not of faith, rather "The one who does them shall live by them." 13Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, "Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree"— 14so that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we might receive the promised Spirit through faith.At this time of year, it is a great reminder that God hate injustice, He deplores our sinful desires. Yet, He so wants relationship with me, you, us; that He sent His Son, from the incomprehensible riches of heaven to the filth of a stable in rural Bethlehem some 2000 years ago to be swaddled in rags at birth, to live the life we could not live, to die the death we could not die, to pay the ransom for our sin on the cursed cross, to lift the curse of Hell by conquering death and raising us to life, a life of abundance, a life with God.
Praise be to Him, and Him alone. Him who's sacrificial love makes me long to seek that which is just.
Seek Justice. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Time to start Praying for a Miracle
This is my current MP, and sadly it is all too familiar. My neighbourhood/riding consists of a lot of upper blue collar workers and pensioners...so we're very orange. You would think that me being a dutchie that orange would be a great colour, would you not? Sadly, while the NDP have some merit in a few of thier ideologies, they have shown Ontario what they do when given power and quite frankly at this point, what's the point of voting for a party that isn't going to get any power. Why vote for a party that can't (or doesn't) help our city? Wake up Hamilton!
2008 Results
Hamilton Centre
Party Candidate Votes Vote Share (%) Status
NDP David Christopherson 19,945 49.27 Elected
CON Leon O'Connor 9,055 22.37 New Loser
LIB Helen Wilson 7,074 17.48 New Loser
GRN John Livingstone 3,625 8.96 Continual Loser
LTN Anthony Giles 529 1.31 New Loser
ML Lisa Nussey 126 0.31 New Loser
COM Ryan Sparrow 125 0.31 New Loser
2006 Results
Hamilton Centre
Party Candidate Votes Vote Share (%) Status
NDP David Christopherson 24,503 51.29 Elected
LIB Javid Mirza 11,224 23.49 Loser
CON Eliot Lewis Hill 9,696 20.29 Loser
GRN John Livingstone 2,022 4.23 Loser
CAP Tony Des Lauriers 332 0.69 Loser
Depending on which attrition rate you like better (% or #) and frequency of elections (2-4 years) best bet is wer're still a decade from NDP rule and neglect.
I know that ideologies are idolitical. I'm not in for the "oh no not the liberals", or "oh no not the conservatives" "the sky is falling crowd". I just want Hamilton to vote with the popular vote both in May (federally) and in October (provincially) cause I deeply want Hamilton to get some real proper attention and $$$$.
Just keep praying.
"Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely"
Caveat: Not to keen on Liberals after Dalton's 8 year reign of taxation terror and misappropriation of funds (E-health, OLG, Health Premium, etc.,...).
2008 Results
Hamilton Centre
Party Candidate Votes Vote Share (%) Status
NDP David Christopherson 19,945 49.27 Elected
CON Leon O'Connor 9,055 22.37 New Loser
LIB Helen Wilson 7,074 17.48 New Loser
GRN John Livingstone 3,625 8.96 Continual Loser
LTN Anthony Giles 529 1.31 New Loser
ML Lisa Nussey 126 0.31 New Loser
COM Ryan Sparrow 125 0.31 New Loser
2006 Results
Hamilton Centre
Party Candidate Votes Vote Share (%) Status
NDP David Christopherson 24,503 51.29 Elected
LIB Javid Mirza 11,224 23.49 Loser
CON Eliot Lewis Hill 9,696 20.29 Loser
GRN John Livingstone 2,022 4.23 Loser
CAP Tony Des Lauriers 332 0.69 Loser
Depending on which attrition rate you like better (% or #) and frequency of elections (2-4 years) best bet is wer're still a decade from NDP rule and neglect.
I know that ideologies are idolitical. I'm not in for the "oh no not the liberals", or "oh no not the conservatives" "the sky is falling crowd". I just want Hamilton to vote with the popular vote both in May (federally) and in October (provincially) cause I deeply want Hamilton to get some real proper attention and $$$$.
Just keep praying.
"Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely"
Caveat: Not to keen on Liberals after Dalton's 8 year reign of taxation terror and misappropriation of funds (E-health, OLG, Health Premium, etc.,...).
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Fear and trembling...
I am afraid for what this means.
God is more interested in our holiness than in our comfort. He more greatly delights in the integrity and purity of his church than in the material well-being of its members. He shows himself more clearly to men and women who enjoy him and obey him than to men and women whose horizons revolve around good jobs, nice houses, and reasonable health. He is far more committed to building a corporate “temple’ in which his Spirit dwells than he is in preserving our reputations. He is more vitally disposed to display his grace than to flatter our intelligence. He is more concerned for justice than for our ease. He is more deeply committed to stretching our faith than our popularity. He prefers that his people live in disciplined gratitude and holy joy rather than in pushy self-reliance and glitzy happiness. He wants us to pursue daily death, not self-fulfillment, for the latter leads to death, while the former leads to life. —D.A. Carson
God is more interested in our holiness than in our comfort. He more greatly delights in the integrity and purity of his church than in the material well-being of its members. He shows himself more clearly to men and women who enjoy him and obey him than to men and women whose horizons revolve around good jobs, nice houses, and reasonable health. He is far more committed to building a corporate “temple’ in which his Spirit dwells than he is in preserving our reputations. He is more vitally disposed to display his grace than to flatter our intelligence. He is more concerned for justice than for our ease. He is more deeply committed to stretching our faith than our popularity. He prefers that his people live in disciplined gratitude and holy joy rather than in pushy self-reliance and glitzy happiness. He wants us to pursue daily death, not self-fulfillment, for the latter leads to death, while the former leads to life. —D.A. Carson
Monday, March 14, 2011
Riches vs Contentedness
Riches and contentedness are like two buckets; while one comes up full the other goes down empty. —Thomas Adams
I've been struggling with this very problem for some time. I would exert that the riches Mr Adams is refering to here are material riches. In our world of prosperity, there seemingly is a loss of contentment. Everyone is coveting. To paraphrase John Calvin, the human heart is a factory creating idols. This strikes me with deeply. To think that John Calvin, who breathed his final breathe in 1564, and lived in a world depraved of massmedia, TVs, the interweb, and SPAM could see this so clearly startles me.
I have been blessed with much riches, but the correlation between riches and how I covet is overwhelming. I see contentedness as the absence of covetuousness. To be content is to be without want.
April is a bad time for coveting for me. As tax season is here and all the T4s and other financial statements have arrived the taxes are quickly calculated and the coveting begins. With a tidy little sum being owed to us(overpayment to our ungrateful government) I have already found ways to "divide and conquer" the sum. After all, if you buy it you no longer covet it right? Right, except that your heart just moves onto the next thing.
As if a hefty tax return isn't enought for my poor heart, spring brings upon me another reason to covet in that bike season is fast upon us! This is exciting! But as I wander down to the basement I realize that its going to take some cash to get them up and running again. I gave up buying parts based solely thier function long ago. Sure form meets function is great but I buy "bike bling". Parts that are far greater than my ability, far lighter than necessary and far more expensive that any rational man could rationalize. But a covetuous heart is not one where rationality and reason rule the day. Its just a gotta have it.
My heart is an idol factory.
So now with a tax return secured and myself on the cusp of bike season, I find myself coveting like mad, scouwering kijiji, craigslist amazon and other online retailers for all that which will not heal my heart, but breed continual discontent.
My lust list of material goods:
Acoustic Amp - preferably Traynor Studio
Singlespeed 29er
Fender Telecaster or preferably a Musicman Silhouette
Countless books
T-Shirt with caffiene molecule on it
12 string Taylor acoustic
Really comfy club chair for reading
A boxer puppy
Audi R8
Now, heres where discontent becomes a problem not a thing on this list is an essential need.
I have an acoustic guitar, it makes enough noise (proper word) already
I have 4 bikes, I don't need another.
I don't need an electric guitar, money would be better spent on lessons.
I have a mountain of books I haven't even read yet.
I have no shortage of t-shirts
I have a acoustic guitar, it only has 6 strings but exceeds my ability already
I have plenty of chairs, couches, beds, comfort is a want not a need
I already have the greatest boxer to roam the earth
I have a car, sure we only have one, its an 2003 that clunks and rattles but it gets us from point A to B and C and D and Chicago and whereever we want to go.
So here it is, everything on my list of wants are not needs. In fact all my needs are met and my wants were even met at one point as I have a car/puppy/guitar/books/bikes/house.
I am disheartened by the state of my heart. As the bucket of riches is drawn up, the bucket of contentment is going down empty. It seems to be a never ending struggle to find the balance between material wealth and contentment of the soul.
Dear children, keep yourselves from idols. 1 John 5:21 NIV
or perhaps more direct and to the point same verse from the NLT
Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God's place in your hearts.
We live in this world where we aren't seen as people of God but rather as consumers of stuff. We all have stuff, so much so that we all have basements/garages/sheds/walkin closets/off-site storage units to keep all our stuff. We buy bigger McMansions to house all our material treasures.
I remind myself of a story (Luke 18):
The Rich and the Kingdom of God
18 A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
19 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 20 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.’[a]”
21 “All these I have kept since I was a boy,” he said.
22 When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
23 When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was very wealthy.
The young is one leg, maybe two, up on me, he lived a pious life. I can't say that I have even remotely kept any of the commandments mentioned in verse 20. I would love to say that if Jesus told me to sell everything, I would. I think it fortunate that he hasn't told me directly as with this young man. But I marvel the in the advice given, it truly is timeless. I am having more and more difficulty dealing with the trappings of this "Can-american dream" society that envelopes me.
Continuing the story...
24 Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!
25 Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”
26 Those who heard this asked, “Who then can be saved?”
27 Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”
28 Peter said to him, “We have left all we had to follow you!”
29 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God
30 will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.”
I know that even my driven intent to follow God with all my heart, soul and strength falls so short, and more often that not it would break the "thou shalt not bear false witness" to say that my intent is driven.
I am amazed how easily distracted I am, how even the slightest little thing can draw me from my pursuit of God. It is quite disturbing that you can shop online, while still half engaging in discussion, or watching your children. Whereas study of God requires a calmness, a quiet, a concerted effort, a dedication of your full attention. You can't go halfhearted in pursuit of God just as you can't halfass your relationship with your children, your wife or your friends if the relationship is to be healthy. To grow one must nurture. I am distressed at how the devil seemingly knows the failings of my character, my weakspot and signature sins. How to exploit me, distract me, and outright attack me. How to get me to long after more stuff to fill a hole with more emptiness and more pain. A hole of which there is only One that can fill.
There have been alot of things on my heart lately and sadly most of them scare the bejeebers out of me. That's probably a good thing, time will tell. The road to contentment is a long one.
"No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." Luke 16:13
I've been struggling with this very problem for some time. I would exert that the riches Mr Adams is refering to here are material riches. In our world of prosperity, there seemingly is a loss of contentment. Everyone is coveting. To paraphrase John Calvin, the human heart is a factory creating idols. This strikes me with deeply. To think that John Calvin, who breathed his final breathe in 1564, and lived in a world depraved of massmedia, TVs, the interweb, and SPAM could see this so clearly startles me.
I have been blessed with much riches, but the correlation between riches and how I covet is overwhelming. I see contentedness as the absence of covetuousness. To be content is to be without want.
April is a bad time for coveting for me. As tax season is here and all the T4s and other financial statements have arrived the taxes are quickly calculated and the coveting begins. With a tidy little sum being owed to us(overpayment to our ungrateful government) I have already found ways to "divide and conquer" the sum. After all, if you buy it you no longer covet it right? Right, except that your heart just moves onto the next thing.
As if a hefty tax return isn't enought for my poor heart, spring brings upon me another reason to covet in that bike season is fast upon us! This is exciting! But as I wander down to the basement I realize that its going to take some cash to get them up and running again. I gave up buying parts based solely thier function long ago. Sure form meets function is great but I buy "bike bling". Parts that are far greater than my ability, far lighter than necessary and far more expensive that any rational man could rationalize. But a covetuous heart is not one where rationality and reason rule the day. Its just a gotta have it.
My heart is an idol factory.
So now with a tax return secured and myself on the cusp of bike season, I find myself coveting like mad, scouwering kijiji, craigslist amazon and other online retailers for all that which will not heal my heart, but breed continual discontent.
My lust list of material goods:
Acoustic Amp - preferably Traynor Studio
Singlespeed 29er
Fender Telecaster or preferably a Musicman Silhouette
Countless books
T-Shirt with caffiene molecule on it
12 string Taylor acoustic
Really comfy club chair for reading
A boxer puppy
Audi R8
Now, heres where discontent becomes a problem not a thing on this list is an essential need.
I have an acoustic guitar, it makes enough noise (proper word) already
I have 4 bikes, I don't need another.
I don't need an electric guitar, money would be better spent on lessons.
I have a mountain of books I haven't even read yet.
I have no shortage of t-shirts
I have a acoustic guitar, it only has 6 strings but exceeds my ability already
I have plenty of chairs, couches, beds, comfort is a want not a need
I already have the greatest boxer to roam the earth
I have a car, sure we only have one, its an 2003 that clunks and rattles but it gets us from point A to B and C and D and Chicago and whereever we want to go.
So here it is, everything on my list of wants are not needs. In fact all my needs are met and my wants were even met at one point as I have a car/puppy/guitar/books/bikes/house.
I am disheartened by the state of my heart. As the bucket of riches is drawn up, the bucket of contentment is going down empty. It seems to be a never ending struggle to find the balance between material wealth and contentment of the soul.
Dear children, keep yourselves from idols. 1 John 5:21 NIV
or perhaps more direct and to the point same verse from the NLT
Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God's place in your hearts.
We live in this world where we aren't seen as people of God but rather as consumers of stuff. We all have stuff, so much so that we all have basements/garages/sheds/walkin closets/off-site storage units to keep all our stuff. We buy bigger McMansions to house all our material treasures.
I remind myself of a story (Luke 18):
The Rich and the Kingdom of God
18 A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
19 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 20 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.’[a]”
21 “All these I have kept since I was a boy,” he said.
22 When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
23 When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was very wealthy.
The young is one leg, maybe two, up on me, he lived a pious life. I can't say that I have even remotely kept any of the commandments mentioned in verse 20. I would love to say that if Jesus told me to sell everything, I would. I think it fortunate that he hasn't told me directly as with this young man. But I marvel the in the advice given, it truly is timeless. I am having more and more difficulty dealing with the trappings of this "Can-american dream" society that envelopes me.
Continuing the story...
24 Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!
25 Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”
26 Those who heard this asked, “Who then can be saved?”
27 Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”
28 Peter said to him, “We have left all we had to follow you!”
29 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God
30 will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.”
I know that even my driven intent to follow God with all my heart, soul and strength falls so short, and more often that not it would break the "thou shalt not bear false witness" to say that my intent is driven.
I am amazed how easily distracted I am, how even the slightest little thing can draw me from my pursuit of God. It is quite disturbing that you can shop online, while still half engaging in discussion, or watching your children. Whereas study of God requires a calmness, a quiet, a concerted effort, a dedication of your full attention. You can't go halfhearted in pursuit of God just as you can't halfass your relationship with your children, your wife or your friends if the relationship is to be healthy. To grow one must nurture. I am distressed at how the devil seemingly knows the failings of my character, my weakspot and signature sins. How to exploit me, distract me, and outright attack me. How to get me to long after more stuff to fill a hole with more emptiness and more pain. A hole of which there is only One that can fill.
There have been alot of things on my heart lately and sadly most of them scare the bejeebers out of me. That's probably a good thing, time will tell. The road to contentment is a long one.
"No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." Luke 16:13
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Perspective...
What a day. I ain't going to sugar coat it. I’m a suck and I get grumpy often out of my own selfish pursuits. It’s me me me, and when there's some additional time I’ll deal with you, you and you but probably not today cause I’m busy.
Sunday, was a day of giving of me. T was putting in a long day at the local hospital tending to a raft of people afflicted with the great modern menace: cancer. You would think that this alone would put things into perspective, and rightly so, but it sadly desensitized it is just normal.
Let’s go, C-fresh gets up early and it's go go go. No times for workouts, no time for reading, just time for breakfast and thankfully coffee…sweet glorious coffee. There should always be time for coffee. We go to church where I pull short straw on nursery duty in the Toddlers, yes those snotty little munchkins. I have been dreading this for weeks. This would be the first time since in about 15 years and somehow I still seen it as an affront to my freedom. There was a baptism that day to add to the numbers of yardapes monkeying around. I'm not going to lie or stretch the truth, childcare is not my forte.
I love my son. I love quiet. I love structure. I love. But the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace patience kindness gentleness and self-control. This sentence from Galatians is in the singular for good reason. You can’t have the spirit and only have love…it’s a package deal. I like to think that I can have varying degrees of each, lots of some, little of most, but I don’t entirely believe that to be true. I would argue that if I had all of them mastered I would be vain, but that would go against most of them, so I resort to determining that if I had all in equal portions, I would be God. I am a work in progress…but back to the day at hand.
So Sunday goes on, we made it through the nursery duty, it went alright, I got cuddles from a little girl who someday, God willing, will marry little C-fresh. Chances are decent as he confided in me his 3 criteria for a wife : 1. She must be older, 2. She must be blonde, and 3. She can’t be mommy. Oh to be young and naive again... I have some work to do to show him the errors of his current criteria. #3 is good but the other 2 are entirely superficial and shallow.
We got home, attempted lunch and put the boy to bed as meltdown ensued. He decides a nice long nap is not in order however and that he's going to power through. K comes over and we play guitars for a bit, but C wants to play his guitar, which happens to be my guitar. This really is a sweet moment we enjoy often, he likes to hold the string so they make no noise and eat my plectrum.
Ok next, we play, C-fresh discovered that all drawers are made to be emptied, this is fun. Scissors, ice cream scoops, combs, whisks, knives are all fun. There are always more drawers to empty and more fun to be had in every drawer. We read bear on a bike 18 times. Perhaps it wasn’t 18, could have been 17 or 19 but after 4 times is anyone really counting. He pulls all the cords out of the walls, something he stopped doing some time ago. Decided we better get out of the house, we go for a short cold windy walk with the Monster. Come home and put him down for nap number 2, two is normal, 2 is good, 2 is great even. 5 minutes, crying, ten more crying. Alright, no reading for daddy, let’s play some more. Every drawer is emptied again, cords pulled out again, crankyness is running rampant, anything taken from him is greeted with a meltdown.
Plan A to go to night church is about to go the way of the do-do.
Plan B is enacted – feed him dinner, which he didn’t eat bath him and put boy to bed, bath time is a disaster. getting him dressed for bed is a complete gong show but at 6:24 all is done and he's in bed! Daddy is exhausted.
Time to cook a gourmet meal for my T....look in freezer, retrieve cardboard pizza.
Sunday was not a day of rest. But it’s time to plan for the coming week now. I send a text to ask a neighbour if they can take our Monster on Monday as we are both working and they have a similar monster. Response is almost guaranteed to be yes, it’s always yes. Proven fact that 2 monsters are better than one.
Response: "No, sorry there has been a death in the family" What, I got this excuse 3 weeks ago? Continues... "T probably knows, happened last night at the JCC, my niece"
This short fragmented sentence, put my whole day into perspective. Loathing and washing my selfishness of me me me came to an abrupt stop. The niece, is 3 years-old, she is a sweet little child whom i have met a number of times. Our friends often have her and her brother, also named C-Fresh, over on the weekends as her dad works.
She was a shy little girl, she was sweet and innocent child born into a broken world and an equally broken family. As I come to value my family more and more, I feel the pain for others whose families are falling apart. My heart for others is growing, maybe not three sizes in one day but little by little day by day.
This little girl had it rougher than she deserved and i believe has been spared from future hurt and pain. The second law of thermodynamics states that “we are in a continuing state of entropy” or that chaos is not constant and cannot be reversed. This seems the way of our world and is hard to refute. There is so much pain, disorder, inequality in the world that it’s hard not to resort to cynicism just to cope with it all. I’m not sure in all this how God treats little ones of unbelievers; it is a distressingly tough question. As I see the joy in my child’s eyes as he explores this big world, I know that there is a sense of great wonder awash over him.
I think he gets it, inherently we all know God exists and we all long to be home with him. To leave this chaotic disordered mess behind and live in true peace, with our true family and our true Father. I am left with a knowledge although evil will take some, the evil we experience here on earth is small and fleeting compared to the love of our Father in heaven, who gave us his Son as a perfect sacrifice of atonement for our sins, to live the life we could not live and die the death we could not die so we can live the life we could never imagine. The question is not "What good can come of this?" but "Will we see the good that comes of this?" Question not whether it will happen, for it will happen, the only question is when. And that is not for us to worry about.
Next time on a clear night, look up at the moonlit sky, stand in silence and gaze at the awesomeness and beauty beheld in the heavens.
Revel in the wonder.
God is still God, God is still good.
Sunday, was a day of giving of me. T was putting in a long day at the local hospital tending to a raft of people afflicted with the great modern menace: cancer. You would think that this alone would put things into perspective, and rightly so, but it sadly desensitized it is just normal.
Let’s go, C-fresh gets up early and it's go go go. No times for workouts, no time for reading, just time for breakfast and thankfully coffee…sweet glorious coffee. There should always be time for coffee. We go to church where I pull short straw on nursery duty in the Toddlers, yes those snotty little munchkins. I have been dreading this for weeks. This would be the first time since in about 15 years and somehow I still seen it as an affront to my freedom. There was a baptism that day to add to the numbers of yardapes monkeying around. I'm not going to lie or stretch the truth, childcare is not my forte.
I love my son. I love quiet. I love structure. I love. But the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace patience kindness gentleness and self-control. This sentence from Galatians is in the singular for good reason. You can’t have the spirit and only have love…it’s a package deal. I like to think that I can have varying degrees of each, lots of some, little of most, but I don’t entirely believe that to be true. I would argue that if I had all of them mastered I would be vain, but that would go against most of them, so I resort to determining that if I had all in equal portions, I would be God. I am a work in progress…but back to the day at hand.
So Sunday goes on, we made it through the nursery duty, it went alright, I got cuddles from a little girl who someday, God willing, will marry little C-fresh. Chances are decent as he confided in me his 3 criteria for a wife : 1. She must be older, 2. She must be blonde, and 3. She can’t be mommy. Oh to be young and naive again... I have some work to do to show him the errors of his current criteria. #3 is good but the other 2 are entirely superficial and shallow.
We got home, attempted lunch and put the boy to bed as meltdown ensued. He decides a nice long nap is not in order however and that he's going to power through. K comes over and we play guitars for a bit, but C wants to play his guitar, which happens to be my guitar. This really is a sweet moment we enjoy often, he likes to hold the string so they make no noise and eat my plectrum.
Ok next, we play, C-fresh discovered that all drawers are made to be emptied, this is fun. Scissors, ice cream scoops, combs, whisks, knives are all fun. There are always more drawers to empty and more fun to be had in every drawer. We read bear on a bike 18 times. Perhaps it wasn’t 18, could have been 17 or 19 but after 4 times is anyone really counting. He pulls all the cords out of the walls, something he stopped doing some time ago. Decided we better get out of the house, we go for a short cold windy walk with the Monster. Come home and put him down for nap number 2, two is normal, 2 is good, 2 is great even. 5 minutes, crying, ten more crying. Alright, no reading for daddy, let’s play some more. Every drawer is emptied again, cords pulled out again, crankyness is running rampant, anything taken from him is greeted with a meltdown.
Plan A to go to night church is about to go the way of the do-do.
Plan B is enacted – feed him dinner, which he didn’t eat bath him and put boy to bed, bath time is a disaster. getting him dressed for bed is a complete gong show but at 6:24 all is done and he's in bed! Daddy is exhausted.
Time to cook a gourmet meal for my T....look in freezer, retrieve cardboard pizza.
Sunday was not a day of rest. But it’s time to plan for the coming week now. I send a text to ask a neighbour if they can take our Monster on Monday as we are both working and they have a similar monster. Response is almost guaranteed to be yes, it’s always yes. Proven fact that 2 monsters are better than one.
Response: "No, sorry there has been a death in the family" What, I got this excuse 3 weeks ago? Continues... "T probably knows, happened last night at the JCC, my niece"
This short fragmented sentence, put my whole day into perspective. Loathing and washing my selfishness of me me me came to an abrupt stop. The niece, is 3 years-old, she is a sweet little child whom i have met a number of times. Our friends often have her and her brother, also named C-Fresh, over on the weekends as her dad works.
She was a shy little girl, she was sweet and innocent child born into a broken world and an equally broken family. As I come to value my family more and more, I feel the pain for others whose families are falling apart. My heart for others is growing, maybe not three sizes in one day but little by little day by day.
This little girl had it rougher than she deserved and i believe has been spared from future hurt and pain. The second law of thermodynamics states that “we are in a continuing state of entropy” or that chaos is not constant and cannot be reversed. This seems the way of our world and is hard to refute. There is so much pain, disorder, inequality in the world that it’s hard not to resort to cynicism just to cope with it all. I’m not sure in all this how God treats little ones of unbelievers; it is a distressingly tough question. As I see the joy in my child’s eyes as he explores this big world, I know that there is a sense of great wonder awash over him.
I think he gets it, inherently we all know God exists and we all long to be home with him. To leave this chaotic disordered mess behind and live in true peace, with our true family and our true Father. I am left with a knowledge although evil will take some, the evil we experience here on earth is small and fleeting compared to the love of our Father in heaven, who gave us his Son as a perfect sacrifice of atonement for our sins, to live the life we could not live and die the death we could not die so we can live the life we could never imagine. The question is not "What good can come of this?" but "Will we see the good that comes of this?" Question not whether it will happen, for it will happen, the only question is when. And that is not for us to worry about.
Next time on a clear night, look up at the moonlit sky, stand in silence and gaze at the awesomeness and beauty beheld in the heavens.
Revel in the wonder.
God is still God, God is still good.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Parable of the lost sons.
A timeless story , I have been doing a fair bit of reading over the last months and received Prodigal God by Tim Keller from T for Christmas. So what I write here is essentially a summary of what I’ve learned from Keller supplemented with listening to John McArthur’s lectures on the same subject based on his book “a tale of two sons”. It’s a refreshing look at this timeless tale.
Time and time again we see the theme of our exile and God’s reconciliatory grace in the Bible, from Moses and the Israelites, to Jacob, to David, all the way back to the beginning with Adam, at some point nearly every Old Testament figure is exiled from and later, sometimes much later, reconciled back to God. Jesus expounds on this then with this short parable about a father and his two sons. So, the younger son comes to his father and demands his inheritance. Now by Jewish custom the eldest son was entitled to double share of that of the other sons, so as this man had two sons, the younger son upon his fathers’ death would have received 1/3 of the family wealth. Here we see the younger son basically come up to his father and say “Hey dad, you’re as good as dead to me, so give me my 1/3 now and I’m on my way!” Imagine for a minute coming up to your father and telling him that “he is as good as dead to you,” and not just in a fit of normal teenage angst that’s harsh because you weren’t allowed to go to the game, or watch that movie or whatnot, but the kind that is rooted deep in the soul. The father undoubtedly did die a little that day. Then the father although he will face great ridicule from the community and complete loss of family honour, does the unimaginable and gives in to his son’s commands.
“not long after that, the younger son got together all he had,” all he had, as he was going on a journey to a distant country, he undoubtedly was travelling light. As this story was set in a primarily agrarian society, the ‘not long after that’ implies that the son liquidated his fathers’ land and livestock. He essentially after telling his father he hated him, proved it by selling off everything 1/3 of the family wealth for pennies on the dollar, further shaming his family’s hard work over generations. He leaves and engages in wild living. Now, wild living is expensive, and a very slippery slope to be living on with all sorts of ‘friends’ coming to you looking for some free cake and willing to help you party away your riches. This wild living leads this son to eventual destitute, where he finds himself feeding pigs and coming to the realization that these ‘unclean’ animals have it better than he does! So, coming to his senses, he sets off for his father’s house with a grand apology and a request to be made a hired servant.
‘but while he was still a long way off…’ the father is always looking for his lost child, as our God is always looking and waiting for his lost and straying to return home. So his father sees him and then does the unimaginable, he runs. Now I for one am not a big fan of running, shin splints, pulled hammies and bad joints, and neither were any heads of the household in those days for decidingly different reasons, they did not run, they were honourable men, they glid, they would not hike up their tunic and dash through town, it was completely unheard of amongst these reserved men of stature. He then threw his arms around him and kissed him. It is important to take note here that the son’s confession happens after this moment. The father has just welcomed him back into the family without so much as wanting, asking or demanding an apology from the son who shamed him so terribly. This parallel’s our father in Heaven’s grace which he so lavishly bestows on each and every one of us, “When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins,” Col 2:13
It is notable that although the son was already accepted by his father, he still confessed his wrong to him. It is important to know that God’s grace although unconditional as his love will instill in us a change of heart whereby we will need to confess our sins and short comings to our Saviour. Similarly you wouldn’t keep a secret from your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend as you know that intimacy requires complete openness and honesty. So too as we endeavour to grow our intimacy with our infinite king, we must take the time to talk and confess our wayward heart with Him.
The father loves us and throws the younger son a feast. This event would have been similar to a wedding feast and the entire community would have been invited. To kill the fattened calf was a major thing in this mostly vegetarian society, this wasn’t an everyday occurrence. The father demands that his best robe be brought forth. God is throwing these parties all the time, he rejoices in each and every one of his lost sheep that is found.
This is where the story usually ends but there is more… Now the party is in full swing and the older brother comes in from the fields and asks his servants what all the commotion is about as this would have been a loud and raucous event. The elder son is summarily told that his brother has returned and been accepted back into the family. The elder son is ticked off. When his father accepted his delinquent brother back into the family, anything that his father gave his brother was actually his! So by welcoming him back into the family, the elder brother was losing portions of his inheritance in addition to the shame on their family. The father hears his son is upset and comes out to him. God is always coming to us, when we think that we are going to him, it is only because he has initiated the spirit’s work in our life.
But listen to his words to his father: ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ The elder son takes the father to task over this display of unwarranted forgiveness. This display is ugly, the son says ‘LOOK…this son of yours’, not ‘my brother’ but ‘this son of yours’, squandered it all, he shamed our family, he bruised our social standing, and you celebrate this! The elder son is blinded by his pride, he pleads his faithfulness but his motives are laid bare for all to see, he doesn’t love his father, he simply bares him in order to get the coming inheritance. His problem is he is self-righteous and self-directed; there is no joy as he is too self-consumed with equality and justice. So in the first become last and the last became first, the brother on the outside is now on the inside and the one on the inside is now on the outside.
The elder son that Jesus was referring to in this story was the Pharisees, the supposedly righteous people of God, the church. Jesus’ call here is twofold and is a reminder that bringing in the wayward is our calling no matter the perceived cost to ourselves. This calling isn’t a selfish calling and it isn’t specific to the people we like, those that will bring us regard among our peers, those who are affluent, those who seem to have their act together, those that walk like us, talk like us or are committed to the same worldly pursuits as us. The call here is a selfless calling; a call to love them like Jesus; to plead and pray for all our younger brothers’ safe return to our Father and to embrace them into community as family in Christ. The second call is a reminder that our grace no matter whether we are a younger brother or an older brother is not based on anything we have done. We cannot save ourselves and any perceived cost to us, is actually a cost paid for in full on the cross with the precious blood of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. It is this grace, and only this grace, that brings us to the table of the banquet feast held in our honour by our Father.
“There are two ways to be your own Saviour and Lord. One is by breaking all the moral laws and setting your own course, and one is by keeping all the moral laws and being very, very good.” ~ Timothy Keller Jesus warns us of both of these dangers in the great parable and that the true elder brother, Jesus, willingly gave up his place and honour to offer us redemption from our sin corrupted hearts. Praise be to God, and God alone!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Today
Life is seemingly approaching an unavoidable collision.
This was written, this past July...it was editted to protect the innocent.
Today
Today has been a trying day
Many things have come to a head
It appears as though my work is insufficient to meet the redonkulous schedule
I would hazard a guess that my replacements are being brought in
It is very frustrating that much can't be done to improve progress and that the dates that are given appear to only be best guess and totally abandonable by all whatever the reason
You make the deals but a word and a handshake no longer mean shit
My wife loves me
My son is the bomb
I am flying out to the middle of nowhere to be verbally berrated for that which I cannot change or control
I long for a simpler life
One if less stress
One with Less physical restrictions
I long to ride my mountain bike
To be transported to another world
To forget the shackles of his materialistic society
To recommune with nature
To live life rather than bear thru it
I wish I could be stronger yet long to be weak
The horizon is remarkably beautiful
A quiet beauty roaring above the droning of this pollution spewing beast
I wonder what is next
What will we become
Where wil we go
What will we do
Sometimes I feel the crushing of loneliness
The desire for comfort
The want to belong, to be accepted and to find my reason
My acceptance of working to make money so I can give it away has fled
No more
No more will I be a pawn, no longer will I sell this precious time doing busiwork that has no meaning, no cause, no end
There is more much more to be had much more to live for
There need be ways to do better
To live a life I am proud of
To own a career that inspires
That breathes passion
That isn't work but rather a will
There is so much to miss out on
It is time for a change
It is time to read more
A time to grow relationships
To find my place
To fight my demons
To slay my fears
A time for rebirth
I wonder
I wonder what to do
Who I am
Who I see in the mirror
How to return a fire to my eyes
How to find balance
How to renew health
How to stop the madness
How to accept my weakness
How to cry
How to long
How to see past the past, past the present
How to step boldly into the future
The seat next to me is empty
There is the good of this, More room for selfishness
There is the bad, I sit alone
Our finances worry me, Our spending, Oh our spending.
I must find a way to reduce my commercialism
I must stop procrastinating
It's time for a change
Not just spare change
Real change
Monday, September 20, 2010
a psalm of lament
composed summer 2010 during the very intense week.
Oh Dad,
Don't treat me as I deserve
Show my wandering soul your mercy I lose count;
my vast number of transgressions against you piles
My indiscretions are many
My selfishness runs rampant I seek the wrong pleasures
My love for you too often wanes.
I live for this destitute world,
Sin floods my soul, separates me from my life in you
Materialism overwhelms me, The chasm widens.
Need for acceptance leads me down undesirable paths
My thoughts sicken me
My heart betrays you, betrays me, it betrays all which is good.
I am shortsighted, my struggles overwhelm me
I can not contain my sin, your eyes penetrate to my deepest thoughts
You lay me bare
In front of you I can not hide my wrong
I try
Though i try to run, you seek me I attempt to hide, you find this coward
The sh!t I put you through, the crap i cover your image in is detestable.
i writhe in your presence.
Oh Lord, my God.
You wreck me.
Destroy all that is wretched in my soul
Purify me from discontent.
Love this sinner, forgive my morbid humanity.
Hold me in your fatherly embrace Lift me from despair
Rejoice in your child.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Squeeze Me...
So I had been procrastinating on this race for quite some time. I always love doing it but as I missed it last year I just sort of got out of the groove of it.
Went for a ride Saturday morning to ponder my options as the rain they forecast hadn’t hit yet. Had just had the Major’s hubs redone by Pieriks’ Cycle as well as some flashy yellow bar tape added. Took the major for a boot from the domicile out to and through the Dundas Valley and back on a lovely typical fall ride, loving the colours and crisp autumn morning air.
Returned home some time later and was still undecided on the Squeezer. They were calling for deluge of rain overnight and the Squeezer’s home trails being the 12 mile creek and Shorthills are notoriously good but are clay based and turn to greasy snot when wet!
Headed down to Ottawa St in search of some furniture and whatnot after enjoyin a lovely second breakfast with my Tanya at Limoncello’s. The only thing better that breakfast is second breakfast!
As the rain started, I started painting the baby room with a fresh coat of primer…as the honey-do list was getting long.
Saturday 3:28pm, signed up for the Squeezer. Since I waited to the last minute I had my choice of the ‘B2’ wave or the ‘A’ wave. I chose the former, over the latter, as I didn’t think my lungs, body and determination were up to riding with the big kids. Went down to the basement and pumped up my back tire (CO2 leak from flat in stage 3 of CTS) and pronounced my bike fit for the squeezer! Well a hardtail would have been a better choice, and a 29er hardtail even better than that…but alas those options were not available at that time so we go with what we got…an Ellsworth truth with a leaky fork.
Sunday morning arrives after a long night of rain, drive Tanya to work, gather up my gear and the monster and heard out the door fro some sloppy fun. Dropped the monster off en route at J&A’s place and carried on to St Kitts. Arrived in the not so thriving not so metropolis of St. Catharines around 9:40 and headed over to Montebello Park to sign my life away in exchange for a little chip and a small number plate. Grabbed my best looking kit (CTS jersey with Sweet Pete’s shorts), and was about to saddle up for a warm up around the area, when my parents showed up! It’s always nice to have fans! I hadn’t seen them since before CTS, and they were happy I survived that in one piece and always love coming out to my races (especially the squeezer with the sweet treats at the end).
Saddled up, warmed up and proceeded to the finish line. There I hung out with many familiar faces in the B2 wave, some Wescam riders, and some Wednesday night roadies. The start wasn’t until 11:06, 6 minutes after B1. The B2 group looked like a real mixed bag of nuts, men, women, children, lycra, cotton, sides, runners, uber skinny, fat, freeriders, full face helmets, it was going to be interesting. Just prior to our start some skinny mid-twenties punk decided that he could fit in front of me but there really wasn’t room for his bars so I know then it would be a slow start…how I overcame the urge to pop his tire still entirely evades me.
Off we go, well sort of skinny punk actually can’t get going because, and as predicted there wasn’t room. I smile and wave for the cameras as we head off down Ontario St. I’ve rode this race, excluding last year, some 6 times and know exactly what we are in for in the starting 5kms. As we took the first corner there were people all over the place, the gong show had begun. I decided to make my move up the pack, into the wind, on the St Paul bridge, this went well…passing little girls and elderly men. As we took a Left left on Henrietta and Hainer the riders were still all over the place and it was purely survival of the fittest, or he with the biggest testis.
We then proceeded on the wide and wet doubletrack where I took the opportunity to pass more people thru the puddles as they went around them; this is great two fold as you not only get to pass them but you get to splash them with crud water as well! The pace was actually very mild on this section and it was into the wind but there didn’t seem to be a shortage of willing victims to ride at the front. I just say in 10 deep and hoped for the best. I knew where we were going and what needed to be done, also quite confident of my big guy burst sprint aways I was confident with my plan. With about 130m before the double track ended chicaned under the bridge into the single track, I made my move. Took off and gapped the lead riders with effort but without redlining, then disaster struck. I took the corner faster than necessary I guess, it was dry my brain told me although not registering that my tire were wet, and down I went. Quickly, picked myself back up in time to regain about 15th entering into the singletrack. At approximately this point it decided to unceremoniously begin raining. The singletrack was greasy at best, and more rain surely wasn’t going to help. Slipped and tripped along the single track mixing in some running, sliding and abrupt dismounting (both intentional and not), until we got to the top of the reservoir where some passing was in order.
Tire choice seem to be decent for keeping me mostly in the proper cycling position but due to the slippery trails much was not able to be take at ‘fun speed’. The squeezer when dry really is a roadie’s dream course. The bridges were like Teflon and no fun whatsoever, after climbing the seemingly never ending road and diving back into the single track I proceeded to dismount and run the hill as I knew that that bridge was hell on wheels. I was right actually I nearly died trying to run it! Kept the pace as high as possible and passed as many folks on the double track as I could, definitively needed to make up some time lost on the front half. Was feeling strong and confident in the trails, too strong as I was upended when I lost traction and plowed head first into the ground near Brock U, there was no one around to see it but my neck is sore enough to vouch for it. Enjoyed the rest of the trails, followed someone through the Suzanne trail at what would be considered a conservative speed, and laid it all out on the last stretch of double, up the hill, over the bridge, down and up and down and up. Took the last hill past the devil, fully locked out in the big ring and rode off into the sunset…er finish line. Where some lovely volunteer (unsung heroes) removed that dastardly burden of a time chip form me and let me no my way.
I was met by my cheering parents, my buddy J and the monster at the finish line. Was convinced to go to first aid tent to get cleaned up but the line was too long so I found someone with a hose with a high pressure nozzle and cleaned out the road rash. Turns out I came in third in the Double Magnum category (this is for riders of a certain girth). Stuck around to collect my trophy and while waiting picked up some grub at the festival. Also, took this time to take photos of the ‘A’ wave which you can find below.
All in all, it was a good day, special thanks goes out to Tanya for supporting me and to Liberty Bicycles for running a first class event.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
2009 Crank the Shield - Day 1
Was tons of fun... more to follow.
photo cred: Photo Ted
Pre-amble:
Prior to signing up for this race in June (before Vermont trip) I had spoken with many people who had done it the year prior. Most of them said it was logistically a good experience for a first year stage race but that the trails were sooooo wet that it turned them off from repeating this event for 2009. Had spent most of the evening packing and repacking my stuff into the lovely blue CTS bag provided…repacking was basically adding more stuff as it was not quite full yet! I basically brought everything I owned including lots of tools and spare parts and tons of clothes.
Day 1
Alarm goes off at 5:00am which is really 4:45am in the real world, I consider myself a morning person…but this was way too early. Race start was 10:30, Haliburton forest was 3hours and 23 minutes away according to Google but in order for the math to work out favourably I would have to get across the top of Toronto prior to ‘rush hour’! I was out the door coffee in hand at 5:20am (real world time). The drive was uneventful, just the other side of Lindsey it started to rain and I had disparaging thoughts running through my mind to which my only solace was that I brought wet lube. Stopped at some ‘hole’ to use the lieu and grab another coffee, which could only be described as undrinkably awful, and a krueller (fuel) which was at least 3 days old and carried on. As I drew nearer to the start the rain stopped and the heavens opened up before me and life was again as it should be…sunny!
Arrived around 8:50am availing plenty of time to get my last minute preparations taken care of. Parked the wagon, got my bike together (put front wheel on it), got chamios’d up complete with some chamois butter (TMI), dropped off my bag at the gear truck and decided, in a stroke of brilliance, that it would be best if I didn’t warm up and just used the first ¼ as a warm-up.
Well, the start was rather anticlimactic, was really hoping for some hillbillies with shotguns to do a 21 gun salute but it was not to be and off we went. Started a ways back in the pack, probably not wise as the 3 guys in front of me locked handle bars for some 20’ before disattaching themselves successfully and worked my way up but there was a lot of miles ahead and getting too spent at this point was not the idea. After about 6km of gravel road, mostly downhill = not a good warmup, we hit the trails running, or biking, the trails were challenging and as the field had not yet strung right out there was immense pressure to clean everything or get outta the way. The trails were challenging and without the proper warm-up I found that I was quickly overheating, unzipped the vest and jersey took on more water and kept on going. Later on I stopped and removed my armwarmers and headthingie so that I my body could properly regulate temperature.
The peoples on the trails were mighty friendly and kind with very few exceptions. I found myself riding entirely with people I didn’t know. Then I met Tanya, this was a total fluke, days earlier my partner for this event informed me that he had sold his spot to some girl named Tanya from Ottawa…now normally I am really bad with names but this one seemed easy enough to remember. I looked back and seen her plate number and that she was sporting a Joemamma jersey, introduced myself, she passed me and that was that…strong. After much huffing and puffing, and a couple spectacular dismounts I made it out of that section and onto the fireroads. This is where I met Brazilian Dave! Well actually we had met before at HAN, we with some others held a nice formation through the fireroads, there was a beautiful line down them that seemed to sweep from right to left and back all the way, it was so awesome. There was much more single track, plenty of tough trails and some real fun rock features.
One thing of note was how quiet it was out there, for a race with 230 entrants you were often riding in complete solitude for 15 minutes at a time before passing or being passed. It was hard to ride with other riders as our strengths seemed to all be quite different. Some could climb, some descend, and some attack the single track. There were sections of short hills which I rocked; the one joy of being an oversized cyclist is the uncanny ability to attack anything that is a false flat (1-2 degrees) as though it isn’t really there. I took off from the group I was riding with and made attempts to catch anyone I could. I was feeling freshish now having regained some composure after the singletrack and was truly enjoying it. I would not say that the first day was a race day, I went hard in spots but definitely kept it at the forefront of my mind that this was day 1 of 3…I had to make it through 3 days. Day one was making for a ton of elevation, climbing not being my forte I took it all in stride. There was a 5km road section 9 km form the end I was told, caught a tailwind, locked the truth out, and grabbed big gear; the 5km was over before it started it seemed but the race was not. The last 4km of the race were some truly tough single track with plenty more climbing, and with 73km in the legs it was truly some tough sleddin’. And I was impaired psychologically by some lovely volunteer who announced it was 2km when it was more like 5km. 2km later someone told me it was 20 minutes…okay I, just give it to me straight as I have been out of water since I got on the road! Oh well, lesson learned you should never take candy from strangers. Bike handled fine for the day, no cleaning or service would be necessary aside from some chain lube.
There was a lovely feed station with subs, chips, pop, ‘nola bars, cookies, eload, water and the likes right at the finish line. Results, in Chico style, were available instantly just beyond the feed station. From there you could see your gear bags and were directed to your cabins by some most helpful volunteers. The volunteers were great although it would be nice if the 80 pound bags were carted to your cabin as after 77km of racing, it truly is a struggle. I spent much time stretching on the dock, the camp, although rustic, was situated on a serene lake and had all necessary amenities. Got cleaned up, chatted with some peoples I know or know now. And hit up the second sitting for dinner. Food was great with plenty of options even for those that don’t eat potatoes… Sat around for some time, enjoyed a Wellington, caught the awards ceremonies for the day and talked to my better half for some time on the mobile standing still as reception was hit and miss at best.
Decided to call it an early night…tomorrow as a big day! Flatter but with lots of short ups and downs that were going to wear me down I was told.
Lost or destroyed:
1 pair of Sugoi RS bibs now have extra speed holes thanks to beautiful line that kicked me into tree on Lakeshore trail – still wearable in proper company.
Sleep – many hours lost.
Stage Time 5:33:22.21 Stage KM 77 Average Speed 13.86
Total Time 5:33:22.21 Total KM 77
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