Perspective...

What a day. I ain't going to sugar coat it. I’m a suck and I get grumpy often out of my own selfish pursuits. It’s me me me, and when there's some additional time I’ll deal with you, you and you but probably not today cause I’m busy.

Sunday, was a day of giving of me. T was putting in a long day at the local hospital tending to a raft of people afflicted with the great modern menace: cancer. You would think that this alone would put things into perspective, and rightly so, but it sadly desensitized it is just normal.

Let’s go, C-fresh gets up early and it's go go go. No times for workouts, no time for reading, just time for breakfast and thankfully coffee…sweet glorious coffee. There should always be time for coffee. We go to church where I pull short straw on nursery duty in the Toddlers, yes those snotty little munchkins. I have been dreading this for weeks. This would be the first time since in about 15 years and somehow I still seen it as an affront to my freedom. There was a baptism that day to add to the numbers of yardapes monkeying around. I'm not going to lie or stretch the truth, childcare is not my forte.

I love my son. I love quiet. I love structure. I love. But the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace patience kindness gentleness and self-control. This sentence from Galatians is in the singular for good reason. You can’t have the spirit and only have love…it’s a package deal. I like to think that I can have varying degrees of each, lots of some, little of most, but I don’t entirely believe that to be true. I would argue that if I had all of them mastered I would be vain, but that would go against most of them, so I resort to determining that if I had all in equal portions, I would be God. I am a work in progress…but back to the day at hand.

So Sunday goes on, we made it through the nursery duty, it went alright, I got cuddles from a little girl who someday, God willing, will marry little C-fresh. Chances are decent as he confided in me his 3 criteria for a wife : 1. She must be older, 2. She must be blonde, and 3. She can’t be mommy. Oh to be young and naive again... I have some work to do to show him the errors of his current criteria.  #3 is good but the other 2 are entirely superficial and shallow. 

We got home, attempted lunch and put the boy to bed as meltdown ensued. He decides a nice long nap is not in order however and that he's going to power through. K comes over and we play guitars for a bit, but C wants to play his guitar, which happens to be my guitar. This really is a sweet moment we enjoy often, he likes to hold the string so they make no noise and eat my plectrum.

Ok next, we play, C-fresh discovered that all drawers are made to be emptied, this is fun. Scissors, ice cream scoops, combs, whisks, knives are all fun. There are always more drawers to empty and more fun to be had in every drawer. We read bear on a bike 18 times. Perhaps it wasn’t 18, could have been 17 or 19 but after 4 times is anyone really counting. He pulls all the cords out of the walls, something he stopped doing some time ago. Decided we better get out of the house, we go for a short cold windy walk with the Monster. Come home and put him down for nap number 2, two is normal, 2 is good, 2 is great even. 5 minutes, crying, ten more crying. Alright, no reading for daddy, let’s play some more. Every drawer is emptied again, cords pulled out again, crankyness is running rampant, anything taken from him is greeted with a meltdown.


Plan A to go to night church is about to go the way of the do-do.

Plan B is enacted – feed him dinner, which he didn’t eat bath him and put boy to bed, bath time is a disaster. getting him dressed for bed is a complete gong show but at 6:24 all is done and he's in bed! Daddy is exhausted.

Time to cook a gourmet meal for my T....look in freezer, retrieve cardboard pizza.

Sunday was not a day of rest. But it’s time to plan for the coming week now. I send a text to ask a neighbour if they can take our Monster on Monday as we are both working and they have a similar monster. Response is almost guaranteed to be yes, it’s always yes. Proven fact that 2 monsters are better than one.

Response: "No, sorry there has been a death in the family" What, I got this excuse 3 weeks ago? Continues... "T probably knows, happened last night at the JCC, my niece"

This short fragmented sentence, put my whole day into perspective. Loathing and washing my selfishness of me me me came to an abrupt stop. The niece, is 3 years-old, she is a sweet little child whom i have met a number of times. Our friends often have her and her brother, also named C-Fresh, over on the weekends as her dad works.

She was a shy little girl, she was sweet and innocent child born into a broken world and an equally broken family. As I come to value my family more and more, I feel the pain for others whose families are falling apart. My heart for others is growing, maybe not three sizes in one day but little by little day by day.

This little girl had it rougher than she deserved and i believe has been spared from future hurt and pain. The second law of thermodynamics states that “we are in a continuing state of entropy” or that chaos is not constant and cannot be reversed. This seems the way of our world and is hard to refute. There is so much pain, disorder, inequality in the world that it’s hard not to resort to cynicism just to cope with it all. I’m not sure in all this how God treats little ones of unbelievers; it is a distressingly tough question. As I see the joy in my child’s eyes as he explores this big world, I know that there is a sense of great wonder awash over him.

I think he gets it, inherently we all know God exists and we all long to be home with him. To leave this chaotic disordered mess behind and live in true peace, with our true family and our true Father. I am left with a knowledge although evil will take some, the evil we experience here on earth is small and fleeting compared to the love of our Father in heaven, who gave us his Son as a perfect sacrifice of atonement for our sins, to live the life we could not live and die the death we could not die so we can live the life we could never imagine. The question is not "What good can come of this?" but "Will we see the good that comes of this?" Question not whether it will happen, for it will happen, the only question is when. And that is not for us to worry about.

Next time on a clear night, look up at the moonlit sky, stand in silence and gaze at the awesomeness and beauty beheld in the heavens.

Revel in the wonder.

God is still God, God is still good.

Parable of the lost sons.

A timeless story , I have been doing a fair bit of reading over the last months and received Prodigal God by Tim Keller from T for Christmas. So what I write here is essentially a summary of what I’ve learned from Keller supplemented with listening to John McArthur’s lectures on the same subject based on his book “a tale of two sons”. It’s a refreshing look at this timeless tale.

Luke 15:11-32

Time and time again we see the theme of our exile and God’s reconciliatory grace in the Bible, from Moses and the Israelites, to Jacob, to David, all the way back to the beginning with Adam, at some point nearly every Old Testament figure is exiled from and later, sometimes much later, reconciled back to God. Jesus expounds on this then with this short parable about a father and his two sons. So, the younger son comes to his father and demands his inheritance. Now by Jewish custom the eldest son was entitled to double share of that of the other sons, so as this man had two sons, the younger son upon his fathers’ death would have received 1/3 of the family wealth. Here we see the younger son basically come up to his father and say “Hey dad, you’re as good as dead to me, so give me my 1/3 now and I’m on my way!” Imagine for a minute coming up to your father and telling him that “he is as good as dead to you,” and not just in a fit of normal teenage angst that’s harsh because you weren’t allowed to go to the game, or watch that movie or whatnot, but the kind that is rooted deep in the soul. The father undoubtedly did die a little that day. Then the father although he will face great ridicule from the community and complete loss of family honour, does the unimaginable and gives in to his son’s commands.

“not long after that, the younger son got together all he had,” all he had, as he was going on a journey to a distant country, he undoubtedly was travelling light. As this story was set in a primarily agrarian society, the ‘not long after that’ implies that the son liquidated his fathers’ land and livestock. He essentially after telling his father he hated him, proved it by selling off everything 1/3 of the family wealth for pennies on the dollar, further shaming his family’s hard work over generations. He leaves and engages in wild living. Now, wild living is expensive, and a very slippery slope to be living on with all sorts of ‘friends’ coming to you looking for some free cake and willing to help you party away your riches. This wild living leads this son to eventual destitute, where he finds himself feeding pigs and coming to the realization that these ‘unclean’ animals have it better than he does! So, coming to his senses, he sets off for his father’s house with a grand apology and a request to be made a hired servant.

‘but while he was still a long way off…’ the father is always looking for his lost child, as our God is always looking and waiting for his lost and straying to return home. So his father sees him and then does the unimaginable, he runs. Now I for one am not a big fan of running, shin splints, pulled hammies and bad joints, and neither were any heads of the household in those days for decidingly different reasons, they did not run, they were honourable men, they glid, they would not hike up their tunic and dash through town, it was completely unheard of amongst these reserved men of stature. He then threw his arms around him and kissed him. It is important to take note here that the son’s confession happens after this moment. The father has just welcomed him back into the family without so much as wanting, asking or demanding an apology from the son who shamed him so terribly. This parallel’s our father in Heaven’s grace which he so lavishly bestows on each and every one of us, “When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins,” Col 2:13

It is notable that although the son was already accepted by his father, he still confessed his wrong to him. It is important to know that God’s grace although unconditional as his love will instill in us a change of heart whereby we will need to confess our sins and short comings to our Saviour. Similarly you wouldn’t keep a secret from your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend as you know that intimacy requires complete openness and honesty. So too as we endeavour to grow our intimacy with our infinite king, we must take the time to talk and confess our wayward heart with Him.

The father loves us and throws the younger son a feast. This event would have been similar to a wedding feast and the entire community would have been invited. To kill the fattened calf was a major thing in this mostly vegetarian society, this wasn’t an everyday occurrence. The father demands that his best robe be brought forth. God is throwing these parties all the time, he rejoices in each and every one of his lost sheep that is found.

This is where the story usually ends but there is more… Now the party is in full swing and the older brother comes in from the fields and asks his servants what all the commotion is about as this would have been a loud and raucous event. The elder son is summarily told that his brother has returned and been accepted back into the family. The elder son is ticked off. When his father accepted his delinquent brother back into the family, anything that his father gave his brother was actually his! So by welcoming him back into the family, the elder brother was losing portions of his inheritance in addition to the shame on their family. The father hears his son is upset and comes out to him. God is always coming to us, when we think that we are going to him, it is only because he has initiated the spirit’s work in our life.

But listen to his words to his father: ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ The elder son takes the father to task over this display of unwarranted forgiveness. This display is ugly, the son says ‘LOOK…this son of yours’, not ‘my brother’ but ‘this son of yours’, squandered it all, he shamed our family, he bruised our social standing, and you celebrate this! The elder son is blinded by his pride, he pleads his faithfulness but his motives are laid bare for all to see, he doesn’t love his father, he simply bares him in order to get the coming inheritance. His problem is he is self-righteous and self-directed; there is no joy as he is too self-consumed with equality and justice. So in the first become last and the last became first, the brother on the outside is now on the inside and the one on the inside is now on the outside.

The elder son that Jesus was referring to in this story was the Pharisees, the supposedly righteous people of God, the church. Jesus’ call here is twofold and is a reminder that bringing in the wayward is our calling no matter the perceived cost to ourselves. This calling isn’t a selfish calling and it isn’t specific to the people we like, those that will bring us regard among our peers, those who are affluent, those who seem to have their act together, those that walk like us, talk like us or are committed to the same worldly pursuits as us. The call here is a selfless calling; a call to love them like Jesus; to plead and pray for all our younger brothers’ safe return to our Father and to embrace them into community as family in Christ. The second call is a reminder that our grace no matter whether we are a younger brother or an older brother is not based on anything we have done. We cannot save ourselves and any perceived cost to us, is actually a cost paid for in full on the cross with the precious blood of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. It is this grace, and only this grace, that brings us to the table of the banquet feast held in our honour by our Father.

“There are two ways to be your own Saviour and Lord. One is by breaking all the moral laws and setting your own course, and one is by keeping all the moral laws and being very, very good.” ~ Timothy Keller Jesus warns us of both of these dangers in the great parable and that the true elder brother, Jesus, willingly gave up his place and honour to offer us redemption from our sin corrupted hearts. Praise be to God, and God alone!