Monday, July 27, 2009

Baby on Board!

Shortly after getting our puppy "tha monster", my wife came home from work one early morning after putting in a hard 12 plus hours at the local ER tending to the Hammer's down & out and handed me one of them self-pregnancy tests indicating that she was 100% +ly pregnant. Then it donned on me "I'm going to be a dad!" and also that "I'm holding something she peed on!"
I was caught a little off guard by this news but looking back i see how i should have known. Ever since we got back from vacation all she did was sleep and work...and then there was the incident where she cried over the Monster being too much and something else of equal silliness. The former ("I'm going to be a dad!") was a pretty big news and a million thoughts begin to rush through your head, okay maybe just 10 or so but a million sounds way better: "Will I be a good father?" "Is it wrong to hope it's a boy?" "Do I need more life insurance?" "Insurance is a racket and should be outlawed!" "When's my wife going to get the mom-cut?" "What colour should I paint the baby's room?" "How will this affect my time for biking?" "Should I feel guilty for thinking the above?" "I better go on a vacation soon."

Having growedup in a family of just boys, girls have always been the oldly perplexing unknown, and unknown is what we fear the most. Gotta say i think girls scare me cause they have emotions...my wife tells me that I have emotions too but I just don't see it...okay so I guess grumpy is an emotion but still limited at best.
A few peculiarities occured along the way. Strangest one being that I got morning sickness! What the! This lasted for around 3 weeks and it was not pleasant...although it may have saved us a couple extra bucks on groceries that we can spend on diapers later. Nothing like only being able to eat 2 bits of breakfast before you feel nausious and then bike 1/2 hour to work without falling over from a bonk.

So it all seemed pretty surreal up until yesterday. So far my wife just keeps changing shape and tells me that she's only gained one pound! This doesn't bode well as I was hoping to lose one pound for every one she gained. Being 20 weeks now you can clearly tell she's pregnant, its more than a bump, and now it was time for our first ultrasound. I cruise home to pick up the 2 of them and head down to the local Hospital for our appointment, okay it wasn't that easy, luckily the hospital is close as the 2 of them were still in bed sound asleep when I got home 20 minutes before the appointment. Now we had a bootleg photo of our fetus produced by one of the high-tech Apple phone thingies but I wanted the real deal. I wanted to see that little parasite that was hosting on my wife MOVE!

There is something entirely helpless about being an expectant father. You don't really get much involvement it seems...sure there's backrubs required of you and you have to prepare the nursery and what not but it's such an external experience. You're pretty much just a not so innocent bystander who gets to sit back and just watch what unfolds.

So today was my day...or was it! After arriving, late I might add, we waited for our name to be called. I was then informed that I was not allowed in. Some BS rule that they had just started prolly because people were showing up with the whole extended family or something of the like. So, my wife is whisked away and I'm stuck in the waiting room with a handful of other suckers and countless posters warning me of the dangers of Swine Flue (or H1N1 as those politically sensitive wankers like to call it) and how I better drink the koolaid and use the handsanitizer available every 5 feet or so or await nothing short of certain death. And i wait and i wait and i wait! Now i'm getting a wee bit restless and am starting to think all i am going to get is to look at some picture at the end of it all! Some other guy gets to go with his significant other, well maybe she was there for a problem so i decide not to get irate. I want to see my baby move! I see the tech! but wait she's not coming this way...and she's moving about as speedily as a giant squid would in the Sahara...she goes into what i think is the break room for some time and finally emerges and requests me to follow her. So there's my wife in all her radiant pregnant glory with some jelly on her belly. The tech, who probably got her degree from DeVry or Athabaska Uni, starts it up and whirls the screen for our view and voila! There's our little baby. Complete with hands, arms, fingers, feet and toes, a heart in thier chest and a brain in thier head! So our little girl or boy looks perfect to me, now i just have to wait another 4.5 months to meet the little tyke! Now i guess its time to forget how to drive and mount one of these badboys in the rear window!

In my honest opinion, those baby on board signs are useless in the back window and should actually be mounted in the top left corner of the windshield facing inward to remind the driver to pay attention to the road and stop talking goo-goo gaa-gaa while putting the rest of the world's population in peril. These signs are akin to the Jesus fish, and drivers with hats....but i digress.

"Will I be a good father?" Well I don't know, but it sure won't be for a lack of trying!

Road Trip! T&R's Ubersweet MTB Adventure - East Coast Edition - Days 5 Millstone

So in actuality it is still Day 4, we left the Kingdom Trails with good vibes as we had now rode increasingly better trail 4 days in a row! The bar was high for Millstone and it did step up, but not before we hit a snag... So we had some trouble finding the trail centre since Garmin couldn't find it and since we had no local maps, we stopped at the friendly neighbourhood service center for a Q&A session with a local wrench. Well needless to say the guy had no idea but his buddy told him it was near something else so he gave us directions to that. They involved going thru the new roun'-a-bout, which I quote "you're going to like". Oh the small things that amuse the smalltown folk. We proceeded on and apparently drove past Millstone so we pulled into the Rock of Ages Tourist trap and were informed that we were indeed in the wrong place and then we received very specific and long instructions from the guy which started with, "you're going to leave my property...". Well sure as shooting we found the place as the guy had told us we would. Pretty small town feel up there, it was quite nice. We arranged to stay on the property as they have campsites with access to their rental chalet for showers and shits. Also, came with free firewood which anyone can appreciate. We took advantage of the sunlight and dry weather (temporary of course) to dry our gear out and get the tent back up to an acceptable dampness level. The site was great and we were the only ones there. Got our gear unpacked and went about our daily chores of deciding whether to go out for dinner or just make due with what we had. Since we had done a late lunch at the Miss Lyndonville Diner which involved copious amounts of calories in American style portions of deep fried delicacies, we opted for the latter. After completing refueling, I got to the task of cleaning and lubing the 'Truth'. tosse the bike itn the stand and got to it. Things were going along nice and smoothly as usual until i removed the rear wheel...Disaster Strikes! As you can see the non-drive side chainstay suffered from a deficient weld, cracked through 3 of the 4 faces of the chainstay. Luckily for me the fourth side is still intact as is my calf as should this have given out it would have resulted, without a doubt, in a trip to the local ER for some good times. So here we are its 7:45pm in the middle of nowhere with a broken bike and the rest of our trip in jeopardy. So, no Internets going to be a problem but not insurmountable. I call my buddy Dave, with whom I'm doing this Crank the Shield in September, back in the Hammer and ask him for a list of Ellsworth dealers in VT which he emails to me quicker than the world could collapse around me. Call the 3 shops, 1 is open and doesn't have it the other 2 are closed. Call the Millstone bike center to inquire about a rental and they are also closed. Well we decided to have a couple of VT's finest brews, enjoy the fire and call it a night. Next morning the Millstone bike center calls back and I arrange a rental...poor little bike. Call FitWerx and talk to Ian, friendly and helpful. Get put in contact with Kevin at Ellsworth and make arrangements to ship a the chainstay overnight from Cali to Fitwerx for delivery by 12 noon. Things are going well. Now on to the ride. Randall gets ready as I go to arrange the rental. The choices aren't pretty but what can you do. First off they give me a 19" (correct size) Jamis 1.0. This beaute is an aluminum hardtail which has rim brakes and alevio componentry (really craptacular stuff here). I inquire as to the rest of their fleet. He tells me the 21" is out of commission, so I ask for the 17". The 17" Jamis is a Reynolds 520 steel hardtail with a much better fork, mechanical discs and a LX spec. Realize the seatpost is a 27.2 and well...I've got a plan. Complete the small talk and take the new trusty/rusty steed back to the pen to get some quick mods taken care of. As I get ready, Randall swaps the wheelset for those on my Truth, swaps out the platforms for my Time Atac'a and pulls the seat and 400mm post from the truth and gets her lubed, dialed and ready to rock. We're on our way...too bad the sun didn't come out to play! So we getter going and it's not warm, and soon it's really not warm, and then it rains...oh well. We just keep biking. Millstone has some really wicked trails. These are near complete opposite of Kingdom Trails and like nothing I've ridden in Southern Ontariario. The trails are technical but ridable for the most part considering all the rain we were pleasantly surprised. The only unridable sections were some rather large offcamber rocks...the roots were slippery as well but only the birch tree roots. Millstone had some really cool scenery. The trails, located roughly in Barre, VT, traverse between granite quarries...lots of them. The trails were a challenge and would love to go back to ride these again. Anyone who plays on these trails everyday would be a riding demi-god. The lines were there although hard to find at times. The trail system, although we did get lost right off the bat, was extremely well marked and that's the lifesaver cause as you get turned around so often you wouldn't have a clue where you were...although Garmin kept us assured of out possition. All and all my rental Jamis Elite held up great, the Racing Ron's triumphed again and we had logged our 5th consecutive day of great riding
Below are some shots of our day...as you can see in one of them we may be in our thirty's but we sure aren't planning to grow up any time soon. With another successful day of riding on the books we decide to head on to our next stop, Waterbury VT home of Ben & Jerry's!
So with our riding behind us the sun came out, we packed up our gear, returned what was left of the rental bike and headed on our way. The drive to Waterbury, although scenic, was rather uneventful. We got the lay of the land and dropped in at 5 Hills Bikes to get the scope on riding. We talked to a nice chap named George (owner) who invited us to the group ride in Stowe that evening, but with 5 days riding in our legs and the last tough 4 hours of it just mere hours ago, we took a pass. Dude had a pretty sweet shop with a very impressive line of bicycles for purchase, everything from Niner bikes to Moots to IF all fully blinged out! We were also informed that the Waterbury trails were way too wet to ride and were closed and would probably remain that way for a solid couple days (with sunshine). This news was pretty much equivalent to putting on a soggy chamois. He let us know that there was much more rain on its way and that if we wanted to stay high and dry to check out the Inn just down the road for reasonable accomodations.
So it was time to generate a new plan...on the go. We decided to head to Fitwerx to see what they had to offer. Fitwerx according to our good buddy Garmin was only a short jaunt down a couple back highways a little south of Waterbury in an equally as sleepy town of Waitsfield. Met Sarah the very bubbly owner and she laid out lots and lots of options for us for things to do in the area. We checked around thier shop and this place was off the hook(unless you're a mountainbiker than you're S.O.L.)! Fitwerx is geared heavily to the Triathelete crowd. They carried the full line of Zipp wheels, as well as everything imaginable in carbon. They prowdly carried Serotta customs as well as IF and every bike in the store was outfitted with a Chris King headset! If you were a cyclist with money to burn, than this was the shop for you! Strangly enough there wasn't a single Ellsworth in the place but hey, at least they agreed to have it shipped to them.
Deciding that the only famed establishment to eat at in the area was The Alchemist Pub we headed back to Waterbury to get cleaned up and get a bite to eat.
The alchemist is a 7 barrel brewery and was packed when we got there. I got my name on the list for getting a seat to eats and was informed we'd be drinking beer for 45minutes while we waited. Judging by the perplexed look on the kids face that was incharge of seating it was actually going to be much longer. You see he was writing the names on the back of beer coasters, and although that sounds cool, his system was severly flawed. The only way I can explain his incompetence would be that he must be the Owner's kid. After about 1/2 hour i decide the sityeation is redonkulous and that before my stomach eats itself for dinner I had better get me a snackski...cajun sweetpotato fries please! They came out right quick and we dug in. These fries were "top shelf" I say and went well with the pint of 'the blond' i had. Follow up to 'the blond' was 'morbid sin' and although Randall informed me it was really good...next time I'll stick to the blonds.
Finally, being seated I ordered the burrito...and an uncaesar salad. Burrito was excellent, although chewing it probably would have been a good idea. The salad...well, it was warm and lacking in many ways.
After devising a plan for the next day we packed it in... wicked busy day ahead.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Road Trip! T&R's Ubersweet MTB Adventure - East Coast Edition - Days 3 & 4 Kingdom Trails

We set out from our lovely perch at Brighton state park after a hearty breakfast of pancakes and backbacon in search of the best riding Vermont claims to have. We were not disappointed! The ride starts right out of the back of the bike shop in East Burke, the trails are well marked and we had a plan….ride, smile, ride, laugh, repeat. Turned out to be an easy plan to stick too. Started off with a decent sustained ascent to the top of the trail system on some back roads. We for the most part followed the laid out route and it was sufficiently entertaining.

Harp, Coronary Bypass, Pastore Point, Pastore Point Loop, pound cake, river run, , Bemis, TAP & DIE, Webs, Dry Feet, West Branch, Hogs Back, Sidewinder, West Branch, Old Webs, Border, Border, Jaw (not recommended), Vast, Bill Magill, Heaven's Bench, Ridge, Rim, East Branch, Pines, Riverwood, Leatherwood, Kitchel, Herbs and out we went. I’m sure I screwed that list up in there somehow. Long and short of it was it was, with the exception of Jaw,

outstanding XC riding. Fast, flowy, singletrack. The ups were not technical and the downs were sustained and fast. Highlights were definitely Tap & Die and Sidewinder in that order. Also for the shear fun factor Old Webs was great bang for the buck. In reality it was all good times and big shiteatin’ grins!

Tap & Die was about a 1 mile of twisty uberflow singletrack with a net loss of 300’ in elevation where you can really carve the corners with some great speed. It’s so long that by the time we were out of it both of us were giddy and our calves were cramping!

Tap & Die Sidewinder is some huge berms, yes that big and so much fun. This is Randall’s Garmin output from day 2 in the kingdom. Day 2 followed a night of rain, rain and more rain. We packed up wet and took off for some more Kingdom trail bliss. We rode a couple different trails and had a super great time. In addition to most of the above, we did ridge twice and rode up widowmaker, also hit part of Knob, and got my ass handed to me by cow path. Also took the opportunity to ditch the camelback on Old Webs with made it that much better. GARMIN

PB and Nutella sandwiches are best enjoyed on Heaven’s bench.

Big Kudo’s to the boys and girls who run and maintain Kingdom Trails…you kids are the tops, as are your trails. Your trails are incredible and the signage is awesome, drainage on the Darling Hill is great as considering the mass volume of rain that fell the trails were unexplainably dry. Well satisfied, sufficiently bagged and all packed up we are ready to head off to the next destination...Millstone.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Monster - Graduates!

Prior to becoming aware of my pending role as a father, we decided to get ourselves a puppy. Why a puppy? Well cause, well actually I really don't know. The decision was rash and rushed and well all too much fun. We decided that based on thier temperment to go with a boxer. This is the monster acouple of weeks after we got her.

So once we found out that we were expecting a nother addition to our family we realized that in order for this to work the monster would need to get an edumacation on her place and role in our family and what behavior was deemed acceptable. So, we scoured the internet, source of all useless facts, for the appropriate training facility to aid us in tempering the enthusiasm of this little one. We decided on McMann Pro Dog Trainers after hearing some glowing reviews from fellow dog owners with very obediant dogs. In a word this experiance was "no fun". Let me explain. Boxer's aren't known for being well behaved dogs, they are known for having a good heart, strong spirit and a humorous disposition. That and dog training isn't really the training of the dog but rather of the dog's handler! So essentially the monster gets stuffed full of treats and i get the beats! She passed Head Start, but really if you pay the dues and show up on grad night you pass so no biggy. We enrolled her in Grade 1, and after 9 weeks of intensive training of me, somehow we managed to pass with flying colours...now if only she would behave in real life!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Sidewinder at Kingdom Trails

Road Trip! T&R's Ubersweet MTB Adventure - East Coast Edition - Day 2 Coaticook

Got up early to avoid all the finger wagging from the local campers…witnessed a RV go by leaving with a 3 series BMW on a trailer behind it, not that I like Beamers but that’s just excessive. Got on the road and then stopped abruptly as we were in serious need of more coffee. Drove to Coaticook and went to Foyer du Sport which gave us the 411 on trail riding… you can either do 45 kms of boring doubletrack or you can go here... We clearly chose the latter. Started off missing the first sign…ended up doing some really muddy double track…good warm up. The rocket ron’s hooked up like no ones business…this also would be a recurring theme for the week. If you don’t have Rocket Rons by Schwalbe, you should. We both rocked the 2.25s and they never let us down. The rolled nice and had amazing traction in all conditions. The trails of Coaticook Gorge were, once we found them, really good. They were flowy and technical with an extra healthy dose of elevation. They were far and away better than Bromont. There were some dodgy downs and skiddish ups and everything in between…we also realized about 4km in that they flow a lot better if you ride them in the direction intended! Go figure.

Coaticook Gorge gets 2 thumbs up way up and after a little bike wash it was time to get the heck outta Quebec!

Quote of the day: "Rocket Ron's, I love you!"

Took off to East Burke…border crossing agent was real nice and quite how you say “rural”. Thankfully he let us keep the bananas and come into Vermont. The country side was gorgeous however the road appeared to be quite neglected as the american's are trying to deter the Quebecors from coming down I'm sure. Stopped in at Brighton State Park which would be our home for the next couple nights.

Very friendly gate keeper who set us up with a nice waterfront site, some firewood and let us know that we better obey the speed limit or face certain eviction. We joked with her that 15 mph was definitely doable and explained that the last park was an asinine 8 kph which is 5 mph in American which even she agreed to as being ludicrous. Set up camp and headed off to East Burke to get the lowdown on the local scene.

It being a Monday night there wasn’t much in the way of life in this thriving metropolis…there isn’t even a population sign on the way in as I don’t think there were enough people to cover the cost to put one up. But they have a good bike shop and even a well staffed trail center. We had the guy at the bike shop lay out a route for us for a good long ride that allowed us to hit all the must ride trails.

Dinner was at this dodgy little hole, the pasta was ok and the local brew went down easy and as it was Monday it was the only choice in town to eat at. We survived. So far we had seen rain everyday at least twice and we were sure today would be no exception. Due to all the inclement weather (RAIN) they had gotten the upper mountain trails were closed…which was okay by us as that is mostly FR and DH stuff and not what we came for. Lit up a fire with the firewood we smuggled in from Quebec…although it was more like glued compressed sawdust but it burned real hot and had good staying power and started very well with camp fuel. Like much of the week we just shot the shit, cracked jokes about what we had done or seen happen that day or reminisced about that summer of 2005.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Road Trip! T&R's Ubersweet MTB Adventure - East Coast Edition - Day 1 Bromont

After many many many countless hours of planning…okay so really this was a last minute long shot that somehow came to fruition. We had a itinerary, maps and potential places to stay…all of which were forgotten at home… it was time to boogie! This trip almost was too easy of a sell to my lovely wife, one week away leaving her with a 5 ½ month old puppy with no car! Did I mention she is pregnant?! Yes she’s that good to me. Deciding not to get too carried away we set a reasonable departure time of 0900 or in and around that time. I had promised my lovely wife that I would pick her up from her night shift prior to leaving, and despite all my preparations I was still struggling to get out the door and off to the Big Smoke to pick up Randall. Finally, I managed to get everything packed up and in the car. Got to Randall’s place and heeded the warning not to drive under the low part of the entryway at the condo…don’t need any premature bike carnage. We somehow manage to get all the gear in the car and we are on our way! So here we are just joking our way down the 401 in search of singletrack having a good old time, bikes are solidly solid up on the roof rack, roof checks every so often through the bike portal (sunroof), then whammo speed trap! BUSTED! Nothing like trying to pullover while passing someone…I think I nearly shut the highway down. “where you guys going?” “um, yah biking.” “January 2006” “wow, most people don’t know that specifically.” Yah well it was a significant date in my life…I was on my way to pick up the engagement ring for my then unknowing girlfriend and my soon to be wife…more specifically it was January 21, 2006 around 1:30 pm on Book Rd in Ancaster clocked at 102 in a 60. I also remember this as it is, or was, my only speeding ticket. “You know you were speeding?” “really” this big speedometer thing here wasn’t setting off any bells and whistles nor was the Garmin Edge 705 that was riding shotgun. Then he asks me an oddly perplexing question, “do you drive much?” I still don’t know what the right answer to this question is but it sure wasn’t, “ya, a little” cause that apparently gets you a 20 over ticket…which all things considered is better than a 35 over ticket that I probably deserved. He informs us that 20 over is the proper speed of travel for those not wanting tickets. And on we go a little slower. Decide we better top up the petrol in the car and some fuel for our bodies…Randall got the short straw and had to endure the line at Wendy’s in Kingston…I’ve been there half a dozen times and it is always bad…always! The rest of our trip to Bromont is uneventful, although after Randall had the Baconator, the air in the car seemed to need to be refreshed more frequently.

As we are getting closer we notice two things: firstly that all the bikes leaving are clean, secondly that all the bikes leaving have significantly more travel than our XC rigs. These were bad and good signs or so we thought.

Get geared up and grab some passes….skimped out on the lift tickets as firstly we’re dutch and secondly only chumps take the lift. So we climbed, and we climbed, and the air got thinner…and Randall appeared to get smaller...or more distant. Got to admit I hadn’t ridden with Randall in some time, probably 3 years, but if there is one thing I remember from Sea2Sea or riding in the Don Valley with him, it is that the boy can climb like a mountain goat on steroids! The trails were significantly more technical that that of the Hamilton area with a healthy dose of rocks and off-camber corners. I managed to biff it good through this rocky stepped section with a bog on one of the steps, one of those slow-mo over the bars experiences. You would think after 7 years of riding I would be done with those but apparently their still possible. Thankfully I landed on my Camelbak and major bodily carnage was avoided. Randall, although he missed it laughed it up and then informed me that he had adjusted his fancy bling bling fork to 5” and still nearly made the same mistake. The trails in had seen a little too much action the week prior when they were host to some of the finest riders in the land at the World Cup. Those said riders royally chewed the course as the rains came down and the floods went up. Much of the WC course was un-rideable and we abandoned it to the other trails which were in much better repair. All in all Bromont was a good starting location and a fun experience, but not somewhere I have to go again. In search of lodging we proceeded with our plan to camp as much as possible, so we asked Garmin where to go…his first suggestion was no good. His second was much better, although the frenchie at the desk pretty much told us that we weren’t wanted there. I was a very family oriented campground with scads of kids running and riding in every which directions. We went to check out a couple of spots in the park and due to the 8kph speed limit in a standard VW we had people wagging their fingers at us and sending french flavoured profanities our way.

What is it that makes everyone think they know exactly how fast 8kph is…I was doing 8 kph and still getting shit from the frenchies. This place was pretty cool if you had kids as we laughed at the Timone and Pumbah train blaring hakuna matata en francais with everyone singing along. Thinking better of it I set up camp with Randall biked back to register, as the speedlimit doesn’t apparently apply to bicycles and I didn’t feel like being chastised but 4 year old girls for exceeding the limit. Ventured out the the local watering hole, had a Pint of some local suds, Watched the Tour in HD and eat some very cheesy lasagna with sugar crème pie for dessert.